ADHD Coach & Academic Strategist | Guiding ADHD, autistic, and neurodivergent clients through lived experience | they/her | #AuDHD | #ActuallyAutistic
Joined March 2020
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30 Mar 2025
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Without interest or curiosity most ADHD and/or autistic people struggle.
Even the teeniest, tiniest ways of building our interests into mundane tasks can help with getting started, staying focused, planning, remembering, following through and more
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Them: Just be yourself.
My traumatized neurodivergent ass: …but what about my years of training myself to not be myself to avoid being gocked at, harrassed, or made fun of…?
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Most autistic people have differences in verbal and/or non-verbal communication.
Where it becomes a problem is when people judge us based on neurotypical communication standards. This is especially risky if the person making that judgment power or authority
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Nothing breeds doubt in my neurodivergence faster than a single good brain day
and nothing breeds endless self-blame and guilt like a single bad brain day
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Taking notes is such an underrated fidget.
It helps with focus, yes, but it also can help us process information, remember things, and make connections.
And it works even if we never look at our notes again. Even if we can't read them. Even if the notes "don't make sense"
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I long for a day where I'm left to my own devices and I can just work away on any project I feel like.
…too bad I have the executive function of a licorice jellybean and can't start anything without the direct threat of urgency
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Personal context and differences matter so much when we're talking about trauma.
What's traumatic for the one person may not be traumatic for another. We can't judge what was traumatic to someone else from what we'd find traumatic, and we need to stop trying to
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I WAS paying attention. I WAS listening. I heard you.
...the problem is that I thought of how train tracks have different spacings in different countries and it all went poof
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"You need to feel your feelings"
"but HOW??"
Start by being aware of your emotions.
Notice how they impact your actions, thoughts, and how you feel in your body.
Stop repressing and accept these impacts.
Finally, adapt to the impacts so you can still work towards stuff you value
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Habits and routines are such a pain with ADHD.
They take time; consistent motivation and memory; and slow, deliberate progress, which are super hard with ADHD.
With solid rewards, unmissable cues, and a willingness to rebuild them time and again, we CAN have strong routines too
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Working memory capacity is reduced by ADHD.
This means that ADHD'ers are not able to hold as much information in our memory, which limits our ability to manipulate it or decide what to do with it.
All while our memory resets more easily too
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The ADHD life be like:
I'm sorry could you say that again? I couldn't hear you over the 3 stories, 6 fun facts, and 2 cringey memories my brain needed to tell me
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The big, fast emotions of ADHD can feel like they take up all the room in our head and body.
It's completely overwhelming, but it doesn't have to be.
It is possible to learn to notice and feel them without being consumed, and this can give back space and allow us better balance
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Boomers: I don't understand these fidget toys. You shouldn't need toys as an adult.
Literally the same exact boomer: *bouncing their leg while twirling the phone cord of their landline with a desk full of oil drop hourglasses*
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Neurodivergent struggles are NOT character flaws or a sign that we're broken.
Our struggles are a sign that we can't rely on the (neuro)typical model to understand ourselves and our needs.
We need to accept our differences, accommodate ourselves, and succeed on our own terms
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Autistic people are people and we vary widely.
Yes, we vary in cognitive abilities, independence skills, and our constellation of autistic symptoms, but we also vary in personality, skills, passions, and goals.
There is no one-size-fits-all method to work with autistic people
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Them: Tell me about the thing you like.
My emotions: OMG IT'S HAPPENING!! SQUEE~
My information processing: …*blank stare*
My anxiety: Wait have I ever liked anything in my entire life!?
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Me, opening the fridge: What did I come in here for?
Me, holding my phone: What was I going to do again?
Me, standing in the doorway: What was I looking for again?
My ADHD: Mwhaha! Yeeeessss! All according to plan!
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People of color, women, and low-income folks are less likely to be identified as autistic.
However, there's no reason to assume that actual prevalence rates differ for these groups. Instead, we are likely just missing, or misdiagnosing people, who are actually autistic
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Source: journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs…
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