Life is weird, letβs laugh at it before it eats us. Not waving but drowning.
Joined November 2021
- Tweets 97,545
- Following 27,982
- Followers 128,539
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23,769 Photos and videos
[thought bubble] βI hope he doesnβt ask me to pee on him.
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After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.
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Happy birthday to Americaβs oldest toddler.
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Trump looks like the villain in a movie who buys the orphanage so he can turn it into a luxury parking garage.
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βPlaintiff suffered severe emotional damages after being denied access to reply βcopeβ.β
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Youβre the result of 3 million years of evolution you had nothing to do with so, yeah, cut yourself some slack.
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ππ¦ππππ_πΎπ¦π£π retweeted
But Donald Trumpβs name is still in the Epstein files over 38,000 times.
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The forecast feels like a warning label.
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Only four sitting VPs have been elected president so, statistically, JD Vance is not inevitable, just unpleasantly plausible.
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The Southβs navy is one pontoon boat and seven coolers.
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All we want is healthcare.
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Name removal, but make it cinematic.
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The White House has entered its Renaissance Fair era.
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I've blocked so many MAGA accounts, Twitter asked if I was trying to de-platform Alabama.
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YOUR MOTHER SELLS NFTs IN HELL
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Trumpβs name lasted at the Kennedy Center about as long as one of his cabinet members.
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Thatβs not scaffolding, thatβs an exorcism rig.
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The elephant gave the most honest trickle-down demonstration in years.
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"Mexico will pay for the wallβ walked so βDonors will pay for the ballroomβ could trip over a velvet rope.
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