At 4:57PM this evening, Vanessa passed away. This pain is indescribable, I have no words. I have no energy. I can’t think straight. But I owe it to you Vanessa to say that I will love you forever, I will hold you close to me until my last breath. Our deep connection was clear from the beginning, we just clicked. I wish we could’ve lived all our dreams and plans that we had made, gosh we had so many things we were gonna do together, but for reasons I’ll never comprehend, that wasn’t in the cards. For the 6 years I knew you, and the 2 that we were together, you completed me, you made my life worth living, you saved me in my darkest days. You gave me your all, you made me so happy and I can only hope that I did the same for you. I don’t know how I’m gonna live without you. Goodbye my sweet beautiful Vanessa, thank you for being mine and for showing me what true love is. I will miss your kisses and your cuddles and your playful insults. I will miss everything about you. We may not have been able to officially get married, but you will always be my wife. I love you so much, so very much, and I will miss you forever. Rest easy my butterfly 🦋💔💔😭😭 @ilovejohnkimble

The smile that gave me mine 🥺🩷 I love you @ilovejohnkimble

Celebrating the 39th anniversary of Predator, one of Arnold’s best films, doing a discord watch party, in honor of @ilovejohnkimble 🥺 With some of her favorite people @BenWalker2001 @gradioactive4 @nikhilshantaram @PR_PackerNation Wish you were with us Vanessa ❤️ We will always keep your memory alive.

Vanessa, when you left this world it felt like I died with you. All that remains, is an empty shell of a man, a man without identity, without purpose, desire, hopes, dreams or motivation. I just want you back @ilovejohnkimble 💔💔😢 Without you, I’m this strange new person I don’t recognize. In losing you, I lost myself, I lost our future, I lost everything. This pain & emptiness is unbearable, it feels like an anchor has dragged me underwater and I’m drowning every second of every day, drowning in a sea of tears only created by sorrow. You were my soul mate, my partner, my one in eight billion. May you rest knowing you were loved so deeply 🩷

“I will endure a lifetime of missing you, for the privilege of loving you.” 9 months today since you left this world and my soul aches for you @ilovejohnkimble 💔 You’re in my thoughts every second of every day. Until we meet again in the stars, I love you Vanessa 🩷🦋

A year ago today, my mom flew down from NY to Florida to visit me & @ilovejohnkimble They had met briefly in New York in early 2024, but never got to spend any real time together. She stayed with me & Vanessa for over a week & I watched them bond & saw how my Mom instantly adored her. I mean how could you not? I was looking so forward to my family getting to know this beautiful soul, I wanted them to understand why I devoted my life to her and why she was my person. When my Mom left, I’ll never forget what she told me, “I see how happy she makes you, and that makes me so happy. I love how she loves you, I love that she gave you your smile back. You’re both so compatible and I just love her. I would be proud to call her my daughter-in-law.” That meant everything to me. Vanessa meant everything to me. Vanessa will ALWAYS mean everything to me. I am grateful my Mom got to meet her and hangout with her, although brief, she fell in love with her heart, just as I did 🥺❤️

3 years ago today was a memorable one, dinner at Taco Bell with @ilovejohnkimble for the very first time. Before I even got to know her, Vanessa was synonymous with Taco Bell because of her numerous tweets & love for it. Eating there with her in person was surreal and so special and I miss it. I miss the smallest moments, like her stealing all of my hot sauce and saying that I wasn’t allowed to have any, because she was all the hotness I needed and how dare I think otherwise lol. She was right. I love you forever beautiful, and I miss you more than I could ever say. I hope you knew that you were all I ever needed, and the only one I ever wanted 🩷🩷

Happy Heavenly Mother's Day to my Twitter Mami,@ilovejohnkimble 🥺 She always made the joke that she was my step-mother, and I was her FBI agent. She will always be like a Twitter mentor to me. I miss her so much. 🩷❤️

I will say, not knowing grief is the most underrated luxury in the world. Vanessa, not a single second goes by where you are not on my mind. I miss being your person, and I miss you being mine 😢 I love you with everything I am, and I always will. @ilovejohnkimble 🩷🩷

It’s May the Fourth

Time doesn’t heal, the strength is just a mask. The truth is, happiness & joy doesn’t exist without you @ilovejohnkimble Every day is bleaker than the one before, every night is an endless cycle of dejection & longing for you Vanessa 🥺 My brain feels broken, I’m walking around with half a heart. I can’t sleep, I toss and turn all night reaching for the empty side of the bed looking to hold you, but you’re not there. Food is boring, tasteless and hollow. Movies and TV shows that used to excite me, mean absolutely nothing to me now. In retrospect, you were in my life for such a short amount of time but you made an impact that will last until my final breath. You brought the color into my world. You decorated my life by painting your love all over my heart. I will never get over losing you, never get over our future together being torn away. I love you forever Vanessa 🦋 thank you for loving me 💞

New video out now! youtu.be/M_xT-bhhjrU

Posting this for @ilovejohnkimble as I know it was a yearly tradition of hers 🥺 People after tweeting about Earth Day

The love that @ilovejohnkimble and I shared was so much more than the "couple goals" posts, or date nights or watching movies. It was her staying up all night with me when I had a horrible ear infection, it was me holding her hair back when she was sick and vomiting. Vanessa was my biggest supporter but also my harshest critic, she always wanted the best for me and pushed me to be my best self. No matter what, through the best times and worst times, I knew she had my back, and she knew I had hers. It’s a surreal and agonizing pain to be so madly in love with someone who doesn’t exist anymore, it’s an emptiness that’s unexplainable, but my years with her will forever be the best years of my life 🩷🩷 I love you forever Vanessa, and I miss you so much 🦋

I wanna wish one of mine & Vanessa’s best friends @BenWalker2001 a very happy 25th birthday! We became friends through spaces in 2021 & Ben came from Nebraska to visit me & @ilovejohnkimble twice in 2023 & 2024. We had a blast each time. She loved him so much & was so grateful to him for flying out to Miami to see her, affectionately calling him our “son.” 🥺 Have an amazing birthday Ben 🧁

Birthday flashback 2 years ago...I miss her so much 🥺💔

I miss this beautiful human with all my heart. You will always be my everything Vanessa, even if I knew that loving you would lead to losing you, I would always choose you. Knowing your love, your touch & your affection, is worth the pain. I love you forever @ilovejohnkimble 🩷🩷

Having an NES Jason inspired Christmas tree was one of my favorite things we ever did together 💜💚 I miss you more than I can properly express. You were the best thing in my life & always will be @ilovejohnkimble I love you Vanessa. Friday the 13th will always be your day 🥺

Me and my Jason pillow. 🏒

Posting this in honor of @ilovejohnkimble 🥺 on her favorite holiday ♥️ Happy #Fridaythe13th

❤️🥺