HELLO MY GOOD PEOPLE OF CAN TOWN, IT IS I YOURE MAYO R HERE TO GIVE YOU UPDATES AND REPORTS ON CAN TOWN #CANTOWN #CANTOWNUPDATES

HELLO CITIZENS OF CAN TOWN, I AM YOUR MAYOR. I AN HERE TODAY TO CLEAR UP ANY RUMORS THAT HAVE BEEN GETTING PASSED AROUND LATELY ABOUT A BAN ON SODA AND VARIOUS OTHER SUGARY ENJOYMENTS. NO WE ARE NOT BANNING SWEETS, SUGAR, CANDY, OR WHATEVER YOU MAY CALL IT. THAT IS ALL.

BREAKING NEWS: TORNADO

REMEMBER TO DRINK WATER TODAY IT IS VERY IMPORTANT.

🙁

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IT IS MILDLY UPSETTING TO BE THE ONLY OTHER OF MY KIND ON THIS APPLICATION.

WAWA

CAN TOWN UPDATES: -MORE CANS -ALL CITEZENS OF CAN TOWN THAT ARE TRANSGENDER OR HAVE RECIEVED GENDER-AFFIRMING SURGERY ARE ENTITLED TO RECIEVE ONE FREE SODA OF THEIR CHOICE

IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT THE NAME "VALENTIMES AFTERDAY" WAS UNINTENTIONALLY NOT BEING VERY INCLUSIVE TOWARDS TROLLS WHO DO NOT HAVE SUCH A HOLIDAY, THEREFORE IT WILL OFFICIALLY BE RENAMED TO "QUADRANTS AFTERDAY" TO MAKE UP FOR THIS HORRIBLE BLUNDER, I AM TRULY SORRY.

RT @evildyke7pup:

I HABE A MARKER RIGHT HERE DOES MY ARM WORK?? i dont habe any paper

mayorofcantown.straw.page/ HERE IS OFFICIAL CAN TOWN ASK BOX FOR ALL LOVELY RESIDENTS TO SUBMIT QUESTIONS AND DRAWINGS

TODAY MARKS A SPECIL DAY IN CAN TOWN, VALENTIMES AFTERDAY, THE CELEBRATION OF THE DAY AFTER VALENTIMES DAY HAS HAPPENED. SPEND YOURE TIME TAKING A BREAK FROM YESTERDAYS EVENTS BY HEADING DOWN TO MY OFFICE TO RECIEVE A FREE COUPON FOR $10 OFF ANYTHING BUYABLE IN CAN TOWN.