Gratitude.
Sadie's journey has ended, her heart was removed and is en route to save a life. Her kidneys were removed and will both go together to save a second life. Unfortunately, her liver was determined to be not healthy enough for donation in the operating room.
Our family was able to perform the honor walk with Sadie to the Operating Room, which involved all staff at the hospital lining the halls silently in respect. (I was incorrect in a previous post when i thought they would be cheering)
When we arrived at the end of the walk, Sadie's mother, sisters, and I were allowed a last moment. And yes, we sang baby shark. I whispered to my baby that I did my best to walk her out and that i promised i would come find her.
There were security guards stationed at the door of the OR, and they followed us back to the waiting room. My family left, and I stayed with my closest friends (looking at you
@jeffbcross) to be as near as allowed to Sadie's body for her final heart beats.
I joked to the security guards if they were there for me, and assured them that I wouldn't make any trouble, and that the last thing i wanted to do was jeopardize or tarnish Sadie's legacy. They were kind, and expressed their sympathy and condolences.
One of the gentlemen there (I had seen him before, but wasn't sure if he was staff or security) but he presented us with his father's Trident pin from his Navy Seal Days, saying that i
Sadie embodied everything that pin stood for, and that he would be honored for Sadie to be buried with it. The gravity of that gesture was not lost on me - I was well acquainted with the significance of that trident.
I was hoping some maverick surgeon or doctor might've seen my story and might send someone to the waiting room to sneak me into the OR, but that never happened.
A small group of Sadie's caregivers came out around 4am to let us know the results, and my inner circle helped me leave the hospital for good after just under a week when i had first arrived there early Saturday morning.
Sadie's body goes to the coroner's next, and then to the funeral home while I finalize her final resting place.
Gratitude.
Humbly, I did my best. It wasn't perfect, it wasn't pretty. But when I'm an old man still crying over my Sadie taken from me too soon, at least I'll be able to look at this week and be proud of how I conducted myself.
I felt two communities enwrap me: both my tech friends here on twitter and my new local friends on Facebook. I hope this wasn't all selfish, and that I was able to give back to both of these communities in some way. I know both of y'all blessed me beyond anything I could have ever imagined with your response.
Jeff has been wanting me to move back to Arizona for awhile now... but I'm sorry Jeff. My Sadie's spirit is here now. I don't know if i could ever leave that. Or the local community that rallied to me, a newcomer that just moved here this summer.
Gratitude.
Almost 4 years with the sweetest, kindness, most loving, beautiful girl anyone ever did see.
Thank you my Sadie. I did my best to walk you home. I will find you.
Gratitude.