⚠️⚠️Pretty depressing tweet warning⚠️⚠️ Extremely long so please feel free to ignore and keep scrolling, I'm mainly venting about my deceased brother. If I don't reply to any comments, I'm not ignoring you, I just don't always feel comfortable talking about it, I go through phases.⚠️⚠️ I genuinely look back sometimes and still can't believe my brother is gone. In September it'll be 14 years. I know people always say "blah blah was more than a brother, he was my best friend" But in this case, it was true. He was my world, I never fit in with many people, although I spoke to a lot of different groups, I never really felt like I belonged. I still to this day am a hermit and barely interact with my irl friends, I do this as a conscious decision because I like my life without too many people around irl. However with Dan, it was never a chore, it was never hard, he gave me my love for movies, especially horror, he gave me my love for gaming, he gave me my love for music. There was a 5 year age gap yet he treated me like a best friend, even with his own friends he never left me out. Hell He even got me into paintballing and we went all the time, I've not been in years as the second I lost him it was too hard. He was sadly taken in a car accident in 2011, he was the passenger, and was only in the car so the driver wasn't lonely whilst dropping people off, he had no reason to be there, other than the fact he was a nice guy. It was just myself and my Mum at home due to my Dad being a long distance lorry driver and 9 hours away, it was 4-5am in the morning when the police knocked and I heard my Mum break down crying. I didn't. I ran down the stairs and asked what had happened and my Mum screamed "He's dead" I didn't know who or anything. The police told me. I was 14 and had to step up. I didn't cry until the day of his funeral, and I had to read my speech. After that, I barely cried again for years until meeting my partner, who helped me open up a lot about my brother and became my safe space. I got a LOT off my chest once I opened up and became a sappy shit (sorry Chloe, love you and thank u for always letting me break down to you) But I didn't just lose my brother that day, I lost my best friend, I lost my movie buddy, I lost the only person I ever hung out with from the second I got home from school until I went to bed. I didn't just lose my brother. I lost everything. I don't know where I'm really going with this, I just had a few memories of him and I felt the need to let this all out. I was a child. HE was a child. I can never forget his face, I can hear his voice so clearly right now in my head. I was lucky to have you for the time that I did. I'm not religious. I don't believe in heaven. I don't believe you're in a higher place. But I hope you are in a better place. You didn't deserve to be taken from us. I fucking miss you dude. I miss you so fucking much.