Joined December 2010
- Tweets 430
- Following 627
- Followers 324,923
- Likes 456
143 Photos and videos
The Awkward Tweet retweeted
22 Oct 2020
OMG hahaha expectation vs reality 😭 ask for some nice autumnal tortoise shell nails and leave with bright orange boils. Of course too scared to say anything so pay the full amount and walk out smiling but crying inside #nailart
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8 Jun 2017
When your alarm goes off and you have to go to work because you didn't die in your sleep
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23 Apr 2017
'Jeans and a nice top' but you can never find that nice top
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19 Apr 2017
It's 420 eve, remember to leave out milk and cookies for snoop dogg
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16 Apr 2017
It's weird to think people who are 5ft are only 5 subways long
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12 Apr 2017
I can't wait for natural selection to take out slow walkers
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8 Apr 2017
Every British person when the suns been out for longer than 45 minutes
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3 Apr 2017
Me drunk telling my life story even though no one asked
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1 Apr 2017
Just checked my balance... this better be an April fools
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29 Mar 2017
When you stop chasing your tail and start chasing your dreams
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29 Mar 2017
You won't be mad at me for being late if you stop thinking I'm going to be on time
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28 Mar 2017
Me: that's it no more junk I'm going on a diet
Also me five mins later:
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25 Mar 2017
I've been going to the gym for five months and all I've lost is £230
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23 Mar 2017
2016: WIll Griggs on fire
the whole of the uk: your defence is terrified
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21 Mar 2017
I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be." I think people are starting to take it as a challenge.
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21 Mar 2017
Posting a sc story for 1 specific person to see is the modern day equivalent of gatsby hosting elaborate parties in hopes that daisy attends
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