I remember when I was struggling with masturbation, pornography, and sexual immorality, I reached out to a man of God.
He counseled me.
He prayed for me.
He encouraged me.
But after that meeting, that same night, I masturbated again.
That same weekend, I fornicated again.
And that was when I realized something painful:
Nobody can fight your private battles for you if you are unwilling to fight them yourself.
Some of us want deliverance without discipline.
We want freedom without denying the flesh.
We want prayers without responsibility.
We want oil on our heads while entertaining darkness in our rooms.
I discovered that as long as I was waiting for another person to carry my burden spiritually while I remained passive, I would keep falling into the same cycles.
My freedom started the day I took responsibility before God.
Not when somebody shouted “fire.”
Not when hands were laid on me.
Not when I attended another conference.
My freedom started when I got tired of disappointing God and myself.
I took 21 days and prayed consistently against that spirit.
Not casually.
Not emotionally.
Aggressively.
There were days I cried.
Days I failed.
Days I felt condemned.
But I kept going back to God instead of running away from Him.
I started cutting off the things feeding my flesh.
I stopped entertaining ladies who only called me into temptation.
I stopped visiting certain places.
I stopped consuming certain content.
I stopped listening to music that awakened lust in me.
I stopped feeding the very thing I was asking God to kill.
Because you cannot pray against fire while pouring petrol on it every day.
Many people are praying for purity while still protecting the environment that destroys them.
You cannot keep sleeping in Delilah’s house and expect Samson’s strength to remain.
At some point, I had to stop making excuses.
I stopped saying:
“This generation is hard.”
“Men struggle.”
“Everybody is doing it.”
“God understands.”
No.
I had to make a decision.
A real decision.
Not a church decision.
Not an emotional altar-call decision.
A private decision made in the presence of God when nobody was clapping for me.
I stopped announcing my struggles to everybody and started seeking God personally as Tevin.
Because there are battles where people can encourage you, but only you can surrender fully to God.
And slowly, God began to change me.
The urges reduced.
The addiction weakened.
My mind became cleaner.
My convictions became stronger.
Not because I became perfect overnight…
But because I stopped playing with the very thing that was destroying me.
Listen carefully:
Some demons leave by prayer.
Some habits leave by discipline.
Some struggles leave when you finally become honest before God.
There are things counseling can help with.
There are things accountability can help with.
But there are also battles where God is waiting for YOU to stand up and say:
“Enough is enough.”
Freedom is possible.
Not fake freedom for social media.
Not temporary freedom during church conferences.
Real freedom.
I know because I lived it.
And if you are secretly struggling today with pornography, masturbation, lust, fornication, hidden sexual sin, don’t give up on yourself.
Run to God.
Not away from Him.
Stop normalizing the chains.
Stop laughing about what is killing your spirit.
Stop waiting for everybody else to carry your responsibility.
Go before God honestly.
Cut off what feeds the addiction.
Pray consistently.
Discipline your flesh.
Fill your life with the Word of God.
And keep fighting.
Because the same God who delivered me can deliver you too.