I'm not cool, and I'm not smart, but I can parallel park.
Joined August 2009
- Tweets 10,010
- Following 128
- Followers 405
- Likes 4,982
756 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
1 Dec 2019
I think I'll know I've made it the day my mom hands me gas money after a trip home, and I refuse it.
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23 Oct 2025
Every time I find the actions of Gen Z and Gen Alpha to be annoying or cringy, I need to remind myself that Millenials used to unironically end posts with things like #liveauthentic.
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10 Jul 2025
Dear @Microsoft and @Office,
With all due respect, STOP TRYING TO FORCE ME TO USE COPILOT.
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9 May 2025
I don't care if you paid me to do it. I'm not going to watch anything on Tubi.
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Timothy Snyder retweeted
22 Apr 2025
16yr old me played Oblivion so 34yr old me could play Oblivion almost 20yrs later. #OblivionRemastered
22 Apr 2025
Return to Tamriel and close shut the jaws of Oblivion in The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion Remastered.
Available Today! elderscrolls.bethesda.net/ob…
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9 Apr 2025
This is one of the most baffling stupid things I've heard in a while...and these days, that's saying something.
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3 Mar 2025
How is it that January lasted 3 months but February was only around for a week and a half?
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11 Dec 2024
Thank you @TheBlurStudio and @timblur for actually acknowledging and supporting the Unreal/#UnrealTournament franchise unlike a certain video game company who has actively tried to erase it...
*Cough* @EpicGames *cough*
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30 Nov 2024
My favorite part of the new #Gladiator is when Denzel is like "But Maximus was a gladiator."
And Paul Mescal looks at the camera and goes, "And I am a Gladiator 2."
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21 Nov 2024
Dear @PlayStation, all I want is a DualSense anniversary controller at retail price. Are they really that limited? Is there not a better way to fight scalpers?
Sincerely, someone who has been with you since the PS2.
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16 Nov 2024
The #tysonvspaul fight was like a nihilist version of 2006's Rocky Balboa where the villain wins and everything is hopeless and devoid of meaning.
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8 Nov 2024
If you ever want to feel better about your current self, read the stuff you posted on Facebook 10 years ago.
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Timothy Snyder retweeted
2 Oct 2024
To celebrate the launch of NEVA in two weeks, we’re hosting a GIVEAWAY of 10 EXCLUSIVE PACKS, each including:
🐺NEVA game key
🎨Original artwork by @ConradRoset
🎟️Stickers pack
How to enter:
🤍Like this post
♻️Repost
☑️Follow us
Good luck, and thank you for your support!🤍🐺
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21 Aug 2024
@TheBlurStudio's inclusion of #UnrealTournament in #SecretLevel is just another reminder of how @EpicGames completely abandoned the franchise that built them and erased it from every storefront.
Thanks @TimSweeneyEpic. At least someone cares about your creation.
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21 Aug 2024
To be clear @TimSweeneyEpic, from one Tim to another, I have huge respect for what you've done and the legacy you've built.
But the current treatment of the Unreal franchise dishonors that legacy and the millions of fans who helped build your company.
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24 May 2024
Disturbing things you Google as a writer:
"how much weight do you need to sink a body in a river"
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Timothy Snyder retweeted
20 May 2024
this is WHO.
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17 May 2024
Can't wait to see media talk about how #JamalMurray's "calf injury" affected his playing tonight and allowed the Wolves to snatch a win from "the best team in the league".
#wolvesin7
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3 May 2024
This may truly be the first time I felt anxiety in my life.
3 May 2024
Images you can hear:
ALT Classic Sonic seen underwater in Labyrinth Zone waiting for an air bubble. The countdown for air has been reduced to 1. GET OUT SONIC!
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25 Apr 2024
I'm sure this TikTok ban has nothing to do with distracting the people from other, much more important issues....
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