I get self-conscious about things I post more often than anyone probably realizes. I second guess. I reread. I mash the delete button. The confidence you see online stems from pushing through the anxiety.

I accidentally uncovered one of the funniest secrets in my parents' marriage. My parents have been married for over 30 years. Every summer evening, without fail, they'll spend an hour outside together watering plants, pulling weeds, trimming bushes, and fussing over their yard. The landscaping around their house looks like something out of a magazine. I've always assumed it was my dad's thing. A few years ago, I was helping him outside and asked how he got so into gardening. He laughed. Dad: Honestly? Me: Yeah. Dad: I've never really cared about it. Me: What? Dad: Your mom loves it. Dad: I just like spending time with her. I remember thinking that was one of the sweetest things I'd ever heard. Fast forward to this week. I stopped by while my dad was out of town. My mom and I were sitting in the kitchen talking when the yard came up. Mom: You know, I never actually cared much about gardening. Me: ...what? Mom: Your dad loves it. Me: No he doesn't. Mom: Of course he does. Me: Mom... Mom: What? Me: Dad told me years ago he only does it because he thinks you love it. She just stared at me. Then I stared at her. Mom: You're kidding. Me: I wish I was. So we started digging. Turns out when they first started dating, both of them wanted to seem interesting and outdoorsy. Dad told her he enjoyed landscaping. Mom pretended she did too. Dad saw her enthusiasm and doubled down. Mom saw his enthusiasm and doubled down. And somehow neither of them ever admitted the truth. Thirty years later they're still out there every evening watering flowers neither one of them actually wanted. Just because each thinks they're doing something nice for the other. Me: So what are you going to do? Mom: Nothing. Me: You're not going to tell him? Mom: Absolutely not. Me: Why? Mom: Because now he'll think I've been lying for 30 years. Me: You have been. Mom: Exactly. I haven't told my brothers. I haven't told my dad. Honestly, I don't think I ever will. At this point it's less of a misunderstanding and more of a renewable energy source powering their entire marriage.