Joined July 2011
- Tweets 6,987
- Following 18,906
- Followers 29,795
- Likes 12,882
571 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
19 Jul 2022
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Jun 8
Everybody is like "Eat the rich" but I think the poor would taste better. A bit more fatty, marbled, and a little seasoned like an ol iron skillet.
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Jun 5
Million dollar idea. Since Data Centers use all the water to cool down the computers, just build all the data centers in Antarctica and leave the windows open. Problem solved.
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Jun 3
In honor of June being pride month, FIFA World Cup starts next week because soccer is gayyyyyyy
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May 28
It's been years since we've seen Jesus in a nacho or on a piece of toast
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May 23
The Federal government has made budget cuts to the National Suicide Hotline. In good news the number of Americans living with depression is rapidly declining.
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Apr 21
Pete Hegseth was leading a public prayer and mistakenly quoted Quentin Terrantino's Pulp Fiction. While in private he often quotes Django Unchained.
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Feb 24
Epstein's spam box filter must have the hardest job on the Internet.
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Feb 3
Bill Clinton 1998: "I did not have sex with that woman"
Bill Clinton 2026: "I did not have sex with that little girl"
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Jan 26
Always thought that politics was like the Bloods vs the Crips. Now it's like Bloods vs the Bloods and it's about to get crazy.
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Jan 22
If we are in public and you're on the phone loud enough that everybody hears you. I will 100% hold my hand to my head and repeat everything you say I'm big dumb voice.
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Tim Hanlon retweeted
1 May 2022
Eggs are like the most common breakfast, but the first dude that ate 'em was probably a fuckin psychopath.
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Jan 15
I've never been an ICE agent, but I bet I could do the job without shooting random ladies in the face.
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Jan 14
Dear Lord, I hope he survives
BREAKING: The ICE agent who fatally shot Renee Good on Jan. 7 in Minneapolis, Jonathan Ross, suffered internal bleeding to the torso following the incident, according to two U.S. officials briefed on his medical condition.
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Jan 10
Holy shit. The guys with the Oakley sun the glasses were right! We should all be armed to stop a tyrannical government takeover.
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Jan 9
Crazy stat @LeBatardShow After the championship, Miami will have played on a Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday in the same season.
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7 Dec 2025
Is Uncle Rico's last name Dynamite? Because Rico Dynamite would be a fire name.
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