Aiming for the spotlight while avoiding the sunlight • actor/comedian

Joined January 2017
2,828 Photos and videos
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Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck
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Alison Burke retweeted
Feeling like I’ve lost my marbles
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How much chips is too much chips
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Facebook just reminded me that in 2013 I was in school carrying around a binder with this quote that I incorrectly attributed to @LaurenLopez1 on it. And posted about it on Facebook for some reason
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Alison Burke retweeted
Actually really happy for you (😒)
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Today’s haul from the garden 🫐
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There is one gambling website ad that is just a picture of Jon Hamm for 15 seconds and nothing else
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Alison Burke retweeted
Happy National Donut Day!!
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Is this real DO NOT get my hopes up
‘THE WOLF AMONG US 2’ will release in 2027.
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hey what
Scientists have used yeast found on a 5,300-year-old mummy to bake "very good" sourdough bread The yeast was recovered from Ötzi the Iceman, and they believe it could be used to make beer next
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Alison Burke retweeted
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I thought Marty Supreme was a Martin Scorsese biopic
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First portal playthrough went great
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The dinner I worked really hard on decided to leap out of the fridge last night
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Hey! I’m live to chat and play @ParalivesGame ! twitch.tv/tired_actor
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I often think about how Corbett (rip my angel) from #supernatural is also Hot Frosty. It’s more often on my mind than not.
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