I have, in the back of my closet, 14 identical dark suits. They are charcoal gray, single-breasted, two-button, with notch lapels and a slight Japanese cut through the shoulders that an American tailor pointed out to me, once, in 2019, with an expression I have come to recognize as the specific facial composition of a man who is about to ask a question he does not want the answer to. I bought the first one in Tokyo, in 2013, at a small shop in Aoyama that a Japanese friend recommended to me on the condition that I never reveal the name of the shop to anyone, a condition I have honored for 13 years and will honor here. I bought the next 13 over the course of 11 trips, one or two per visit, from the same shop, from the same tailor, who is now in his late seventies and who, on my last visit, mentioned, in passing, that I am one of three foreign customers he has ever served, and that he is no longer accepting new ones, and that when he closes the shop, which he intends to do in 2027, the suits will not be replaceable by any tailor anywhere in the world, a fact I have not yet emotionally absorbed and may not, in any meaningful sense, ever.
I wear the suits only to Japanese shareholder meetings, and only in Japan. I do not wear them on the flights over. I pack them in a garment bag, fold them according to a method the tailor taught me on my second visit, and unpack them in my hotel room the night before the meeting, where I hang them on a wooden hanger I also brought from Tokyo, because the plastic hangers in Western hotels are, I have determined, an insult to the cut. I wear the suit. I attend the meeting. I bow at the angles I have practiced. I return to the hotel. I remove the suit. I hang it in the garment bag. I do not wear it again until the next meeting, which may be six months later, which may be two years later, which may, in some cases, be a meeting that has not yet been scheduled and that I am, in some part of my mind, simply waiting for.
I have tried, on three separate occasions, to wear one of the suits in the United States. The first time was in 2017, to a wedding. I noticed, halfway through the ceremony, that something was wrong, and I could not identify what. The suit fit. The suit was correct. The suit was, in every objective measure, more elegantly tailored than any other suit in the room. And yet I felt, with a certainty I cannot explain, that I was wearing a costume. I did not understand it at the time. I attributed it to the wedding. I tried again, in 2019, to a funeral, and the same feeling returned, and again I did not understand it. I tried a third time, in 2022, to a board dinner at a public company I had a small position in, and halfway through the entree, I excused myself, returned to the hotel, changed into a different suit, and returned to dinner, and I have not, since that night, attempted it again.
The suits feel wrong in American light. I have, over the years, come to believe this is a real phenomenon and not a psychological one. The light in Japan, in the small regional cities where the shareholder meetings happen, is filtered through air that has a different quality than American air, an observation I cannot defend scientifically but which I will go to my grave insisting on, and the suits were made for that light, and they were made by a man who has lived his entire life under that light, and they cannot be worn under any other. They look identical in a photograph. They feel completely different on a body.