Father. Husband. Television Line Producer. Comedic Genius. Something to write home about.
Joined January 2014
- Tweets 1,344
- Following 412
- Followers 126
- Likes 198
154 Photos and videos
30 Jun 2023
Someone said to me “Fallout Boy probably used ChatGPT to write their version of We Didn’t Start the Fire”
False. Because I asked ChatGPT to write a version of We Didn’t Start the Fire using events from 1989-2023 and it turned out WAY better than the Fallout Boy version…
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18 Mar 2023
Shout out to @DEADLINE for the very pointed and topical screen grab of @kenanthompson and @Iamkelmitchell from 1997’s Good Burger while announcing Good Burger 2.
#dragperfection
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5 Nov 2022
Things I never thought I’d say:
“I think I dozed off for a bit. There might have been a scene between Weird Al fighting his way through the Colombian jungle to rescue Madonna from Pablo Escobar and him being back in his childhood home making up with his Amish dad that I missed.”
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31 Aug 2022
Remember back when Trump was moving out and we kept seeing photos like this and jokingly going “Ohhhh, I hope they’re not taking anything they’re not supposed to, haha!” and the media outlets were like “don’t worry, this is totally normal.”
Good times
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29 Aug 2022
I was a little disappointed when I first watched the trailer for “Weird: The Al Yankovic” story. I thought we were getting a real story of Al’s life. But then I realized “Weird” is in itself a parody of 2018’s Bohemian Rhapsody and of course it’s genius!
youtu.be/oCPMK8FUVCk
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27 Aug 2022
I was just thinking about this the other day. This is a whole new perspective on an infamous moment in pop culture and worth some of your time.
27 Aug 2022
One thing people always get wrong about the Ashlee Simpson “lip sync fiasco” is…… she wasn’t actually ever lip syncing? I feel like a fuxking freak but I think I’m about to do a Twitter thread??
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18 Aug 2022
Legendary tweet right here.
17 Aug 2022
So I'm pretty frustrated & confused rn? just got home from a date and when she went to pick up her bill I said "don't worry about it, drinks are on me tonight" she fucking threw her FULL BEER at me?!?? has this happened to anyone else????? her name is Amelia Bedelia if that helps
16 Aug 2022
Need to catch up on the story of #SheHulk before the Disney series premiere this Thursday? Love to watch pornographic parodies without all the pesky sex and nudity? Then make sure to watch Good Clean Porn with @FranciscoSims as he reviews “She-Hulk XXX”
youtu.be/LVZW7EzhVnA
28 Mar 2022
You guys, I’m so excited for the first day of my new job tomorrow! Still can’t believe I’m gonna be Will Smith’s publicist! I’m going to bed early so I’m fresh for the big first day. Oscars on DVR, will watch after work tomorrow so no spoilers, ok? good night!
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10 Dec 2021
The revolution will not be televised. The revolution will be streamed.
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14 Nov 2021
Pretty sure this is the first #HappyMeal box to feature two characters who have had explicit, on-screen sex. Anyone able to prove me wrong?
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13 Aug 2021
Did…did we do it? Did we Free Britney?
Britney Spears’ father Jamie Spears is stepping down as her conservator after 13 years. variety.com/2021/music/news/…
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10 Aug 2021
I made reference to Pauly Shore in a work meeting today and literally none of my employees under 30 even knew who he was. Like not “I’ve never seen a Pauly Shore movie” just did not know who he was. I’ve never felt so old.
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16 Jun 2021
Just finished @andyweirauthor’s Project Hail Mary. Good good good! Much happy. Why you no read yet, question?
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30 May 2021
I don’t like this and yet I love it.
Bird's eye view of juggling.
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16 May 2021
Just finished watching Vice Force Action Squad (@viceforceAS) episode 2. Best dialogue so far:
“Looks like someone was looking for something”
“or someTHING”
Laughed out loud
youtu.be/bdoYl0uT8aY
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