I cannot imagine this journey. When you make it through such a difficult path, please know there are some of us in positions of 'power' ready to support you through to lead the next generation. You have got this so hang in there.
I donāt want to discourage black people from applying to the clinical psych doctorate because we are needed. But Iām being real, go where you are loved. Out of the 100s of trainees in my course only 3 are black ( inc. myself). One in each year. Imagine our experiences.