a very special boy. Go Celtics
Joined August 2014
- Tweets 9,928
- Following 817
- Followers 1,814
- Likes 17,105
661 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
5 Jun 2017
HR LADY: And it says here under Emergency Contacts you just wrote "FIRE TRUCK"
ME: [visibly excited] Fire truck
21
1,770
7,799
May 8
[describing any American from anywhere north or east of Hartford to my wife] yeah he’s a Boston guy
4
274
Feb 17
The Night Watchman in Corduroy hears a lamp crash to the floor, comes to investigate, and instantly gets distracted by a teddy bear. Dangerous incompetence. DO YOUR JOB MORON
1
3
246
22 Aug 2025
do you ever meet a toilet you don’t quite trust to stand on business
2
4
381
21 Aug 2025
[person who spent 15 years repeatedly grinding and extruding their brain in the service of having a 2-hour lead on hearing about world events] Phones are good for you actually
1
14
372
26 Apr 2025
one of the best things about having a baby is that I can refer to myself as Daddy and have it be normal
7
216
21 Mar 2025
I think that a much more polite and sincere expression of ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ that’s more like “sure, why doncha come on down and pick ‘em up! 💕” could change the world
2
218
21 Feb 2025
why did they make it look like he just signed with the Cavs x.com/HouseGOP/status/189265…
3
44
869
71,323
21 Feb 2025
Yes and it’s a funny story that people enjoy but this stupid fucking website says my thread from 2017 about it is “unavailable” for no reason
20 Feb 2025
Has a celebrity ever been rude to you??
5
859
2 Oct 2024
two years a wife guy. The years pass by like years on a calendar.,, and rain in the rain…
2
3
92
9,557
26 Sep 2024
a guy in a Lakers shirt got off the LAXit shuttle and asked an employee “what terminal is this?” and she told him “sir this is a parking lot”
1
3
280
Trevor retweeted
16 Oct 2023
for this next phase in my life i have decided to become more intense and weird
3
18
890