@TrumpDBA profile picture
TrumpDBA @TrumpDBA

I think the only difference between me and the other database administrators is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful. Parity Account.

Joined February 2016
  • Tweets 1,596
  • Following 3
  • Followers 8,679
146 Photos and videos
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TrumpDBA@TrumpDBA
5 Nov 2020
SET NOCOUNT ON
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TrumpDBA@TrumpDBA
16 Nov 2022
In order to make Data great and glorious again, I am announcing I completed the online application process to get my job back.
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TrumpDBA@TrumpDBA
15 Nov 2022
MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT! After many years of working with data, radical developers will become AI-curious. This must be stopped!
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TrumpDBA@TrumpDBA
13 Oct 2022
After months of not returning my texts, suddenly my former coworkers want to speak to me again?
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TrumpDBA@TrumpDBA
23 Sep 2022
Most DBAs struggle with getting restores done, especially for large databases. But it's always been easy for me, I just have to think about it and its done.
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TrumpDBA@TrumpDBA
31 Aug 2022
As a DBA, some say the best DBA ever, really, I know better than anyone how easy it is to have data stolen from a database. That's why I keep the important stuff on paper, and place it where people aren't likely to look. SECURITY BY OBSCURITY!
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TrumpDBA@TrumpDBA
12 Aug 2022
The data was classified, and possibly there were some nuclear codes and stuff, but it’s not like I stole PII data or violated the GDPR because I’m a professional.
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TrumpDBA@TrumpDBA
28 Jun 2022
She changed her code a couple of days ago, and with it, her database performance totally changed. SHOCKER???
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TrumpDBA@TrumpDBA
28 Jun 2022
"’m the f’n DBA, take me to the data center!"
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TrumpDBA@TrumpDBA
23 Feb 2022
The dev is going into the database, storing JSON inside of XML. You gotta say, that’s pretty savvy. How smart is that?
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TrumpDBA@TrumpDBA
21 Oct 2021
DataOps is a complete disaster. Nobody can be this stupid. BAD!
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TrumpDBA@TrumpDBA
19 Aug 2021
New guy ran away during a production issue instead of following the plan I had left for him to follow. A plan that protected our data AND our code! The devs no longer have fear or respect for the DBA.
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TrumpDBA@TrumpDBA
29 Jul 2021
Good news! I can simply be reinstated as your DBA, and this will happen!
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TrumpDBA@TrumpDBA
26 Jul 2021
The dev team has, for whatever reason, also refused to produce the network routers. You want me to tune your query? Well, we want the routers, Sonny.
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TrumpDBA@TrumpDBA
2 Jul 2021
Do you miss me?
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TrumpDBA@TrumpDBA
22 May 2021
#Eurovision voting is a fraud on the American public. This is an embarrassment to our country. We were getting ready to win this competition. Frankly, we did win this competition.
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TrumpDBA@TrumpDBA
17 May 2021
The entire database has been DELETED! This is illegal! At some point it will be impossible to recover!
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TrumpDBA@TrumpDBA
13 May 2021
Look, I’m not here to tell you how to do things right, I’m here to tell you all the ways you did it wrong.
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TrumpDBA retweeted
TrumpDBA@TrumpDBA
5 May 2016
Happy #CincoDeMayo! The best taco bowls and databases are made from Mexicans. I love Modern_Spanish_CI_AS.
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TrumpDBA@TrumpDBA
4 May 2021
Any DBA turned developer is a stone cold loser.
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TrumpDBA@TrumpDBA
29 Apr 2021
After you reboot the server, run some queries to load your biggest tables into cache, making response times GREAT AGAIN for your customers!
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