Stand up comedienne looking for love in all the wrong places
Joined September 2011
- Tweets 1,651
- Following 203
- Followers 235
- Likes 3,757
69 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
28 Feb 2019
Just got a job at The Weather Channel. Hmu if you want those 10 day forecasts on the free.
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May 11
great to see the Alma mater still doing well
May 11
the tech world has genuinely not grappled with how many people
despise them and what they make
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May 9
I’ve spent the past week in LA and let me tell you if a man walks up in a trench coat asking if you want a first look deal DO NOT SAY YES
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May 5
LAX is like “oh you don’t have a private driver? well please take this crowded bus to our ride share fema camp”
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May 4
Got to do some shows in Bozeman Montana which is pretty exciting because it’s always been my dream to perform for Californians
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May 1
Dark day for ppl who learned how to fit a week of their life into a backpack
May 1
JUST IN: Spirit Airlines to cease all operations this Saturday.
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Apr 28
you’re on Very thick ice with me . i love you
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Apr 22
If anyone says “hang around me if you want some new material” most likely what will happen is they’ll tell you a long story that doesn’t have an ending and then the’ll tell you their favorite chappelle bit
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Apr 16
A little short I made about Norm.
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Apr 14
If you’re high, PLEASE watch this
Apr 12
En polonia, unos jabalies se colaron en un barrio y se fueron perseguidos por un robot
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Apr 10
Ah just like our founding fathers 🥰
Apr 9
JUST IN: Hunter Biden challenges Eric Trump & Donald Trump Jr. to a “cage match”
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Apr 7
Anxiously waiting to see if we will be the most despised nation on earth 🤪
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Apr 6
JUST IN 🚨: ai realized the point of life isn’t working and is now really chill
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Me: uhh who's pussy is this?
Trebek: Correct! And you're still in control of the board
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Apr 3
me: tell me where you want to eat
gf: *spitting blood* fuck you
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Feb 18
The worst Twitter account will post a 15 second ai generated piece of shit and be like “HOLLYWOOD IS SO SCREWED BRO”
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Mar 30
Flight Attendant: if you want the exit row, you have to say yes
Me: (spitting blood) fuck you.
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Mar 26
My girls flight been delayed in Miami for 2 weeks this TSA shit is outta hand.
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3 Feb 2025
My dog when I forget to give him treats after a walk.
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