Magician who has temporarily vanished.
Joined March 2008
- Tweets 1,377
- Following 732
- Followers 740
- Likes 131
44 Photos and videos
18 Apr 2023
I finally got fed-up with how fast my hot cocoa would cool off while sitting at my desk.
I got a new insulated mug today.
I also got a new pair of scalded lips today.
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18 Apr 2023
I got the mug from a Goodwill store, so I think my scalded lips are about 5% government-funded. #fulldisclosure
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17 Apr 2023
I am proud of our @CBC as a voice for diversity across Canada.
To me "government-funded" is a positive thing with public oversight, and much preferred over private interests and not-so-hidden agendas controlling the conversation.
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8 Apr 2023
I wish I was a millionaire so my behavior would be "eccentric" instead of "dysfunctional."
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3 Apr 2023
What if... now hear me out... what if the USA started one big GoFundMe to cover EVERYONE's medical expenses but each person only needs to donate once a year.
And maybe... now stick with me on this... maybe those who have more wealth could make a proportionately larger donation?
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29 Mar 2023
I'm in a hotel with kitchenette. I got the bread n' ched for grilled cheese sandies, but neglected to get butter.
Warm cheese on dry toast just isn't cutting it. And yes, of course I tried cutting on the diagonal but not even the diagonal cut could rectify it! Nor trianglify it!
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25 Mar 2023
President Joe Biden talked to this turkey longer than he talked to Pierre Poilievre.
ALT Joe Biden holding a microphone up to a turkey pardoned on Thanksgiving.
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24 Mar 2023
Older folks don't realize how good they had it when they were ONLY 'a day late and a dollar short.'
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15 Mar 2023
I don't know when "International Procrastination Day" is, but I'm going to plan ahead and start procrastinating NOW so I can relax later.
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14 Mar 2023
'Written in stone' implies permanence ... but chalk is a stone.
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11 Mar 2023
It is extremely unprofessional to use Comic Sans font in business communication. You should be using Comic Serif.
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14 Feb 2023
The AI generated version of "Dogs Playing Poker" looks more like "Sad Dogs Finding No Snacks Left Behind After Poker Game."
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8 Feb 2023
Blessed be they who have but one good idea. For those unburdened by a plentitude of possibilities walk swiftly and with great confidence.
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4 Feb 2023
The only way to stop a bad guy with a balloon is a good guy with a balloon.
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1 Feb 2023
Maybe corporate CEO's wouldn't have to raise prices to earn record profits if they just gave up avocado toast. 🤷♂️
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28 Jan 2023
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time was 29 years, 364 days, 23 hours, and 55 minutes ago.
Assuming it takes 5 minutes to stick a sapling in the ground, NOW is actually the 3,153,600th best time.
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26 Dec 2022
Today is Boxing Day! One of the 239 biggest sales of the year!!! I haven't seen prices this good since the "Ash Wednesday Eve" clearance sale.
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11 Dec 2022
If you're trying out some more flavourful beers this holiday season, don't forget to pair them with other interesting tastes, such as dried fruit.
I guess what I'm trying to say is...
remember the raisin for the saison.
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9 Nov 2022
In light of rising costs for food, the "10 second rule" shall henceforth be "the 12 second rule."