SaaS copywriter & content strategist. Helping founders reach audiences with a clear positioning and make complex products easy to understand. DMs open.
Joined September 2011
- Tweets 71
- Following 52
- Followers 9
- Likes 24
2 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
Jun 3
I've spent years fixing other people's words. Enjoyed it, too.
Starting to put some of my own out here - about copy, content, and what makes people actually stop scrolling.
If you're a founder or leader who needs help saying the right thing, my DMs are open.
43
Jun 11
When outreach open rates drop, most marketers instinctively rewrite their subject lines.
Most of the time, that's the wrong fix.
Here's what's actually broken (and three real subject lines that prove it). 1/9
#EmailMarketing #ThursdayTeardowns
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18
Jun 12
The subject line isn't where most cold emails break.
It's just the visible part of the problem. Fix the copy by all means. But check your list and your promise first.
Otherwise you're repainting a wall that needs replastering.
9/9
9
Jun 12
❌ "Struggling to hit your pipeline targets?"
Describes a broad problem. Generic painpoint openers perform 60% worse than subjects with a specific trigger.
✅ "Why does Q3 keep looking like Q2?"
Implies a pattern, shows you noticed, and says this email is worth reading.
8/9
6
Jun 12
❌ "Transforming your sales with AI-powered outreach"
Reads like a random press release. It talks about the sender, not the reader's need.
✅ "Your competitors are getting [X]% open rates. Are you?"
Same claim with a completely different energy. Now it's about them.
7/9
6
Jun 12
❌ "Quick question"
Used to work. Now it's the first thing spam filters skip. Why? It promises intimacy but delivers a pitch.
That gap kills trust before the email opens.
✅ "Fixed your [specific problem] yet?"
This line honestly shows you'll pitch something in the email.
6/9
6
Jun 12
But when the problem IS the copy, here's what it looks like.
Three subject lines, three different ways to get ignored, and what I'd write instead.
5/9
5
Jun 12
Data backs this up:
→ Average open rates dropped to 27.7% in 2026, down from 36% in 2023
→ Generic pain-point openers perform 60% worse than trigger-based ones
→ Open rate below 30%? Deliverability is almost certainly the problem (not the copy)
4/9
6
Jun 12
1- When emails fail to deliver, that's usually an email list issue.
2- When it sounds like other cold emails, that's a copy problem.
3- When the body kills reader trust, that's a promise issue.
3/9
12
Jun 12
Cold email subject lines fail in one of three ways:
- the email never reached the inbox,
- it reached the inbox but sounded like every other outreach email, or
- it got opened but the body killed the reader's trust.
Rewriting subject lines only fixes one of these problems. 2/9
25
Saqib Hussain retweeted
Jun 9
Test your message in the wild this week.
Tell a customer what you do.
Wait 24 hours.
Ask them to say it back.
Their version is your real positioning.
If they butcher it, simplify until they can't.
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1
356
Jun 9
"[insert platform/tech/strategy] is dead..."
"RIP [insert platform/tech/strategy]..."
Two tweet starters that keep flooding the feed. I know you're trying to make a point, but if everybody uses the same hook, nobody gets attention.
Write better. #TwitterTips
14
Jun 9
Brands that win have an authentic worldview, something that sets them apart. If you don't have that, you can't build a positioning, and in turn can't write copy that converts at scale.
#BrandGrowth
10
Jun 7
If you're a #SaaS founder and catch yourself saying any of these...
"Our traffic isn't converting."
"People don't get what we do."
"Why do we keep attracting the wrong customers?"
"They like the demo but nobody buys."
...then you need to fix your positioning before your copy.
1
35
Jun 7
What're you building this weekend? I was invited to submit a screenplay. So I'm finishing that.
17
Jun 4
These rewrites are better. But they're still just bandages.
The real fix starts before the copywriter gets involved.
Believe in something. Build on that. Know who you're for. Know what you're willing to say that your competitors won't.
Then brief the writer.
10/10
17
Jun 4
Batchmaster 👇
Headline:
Your batch runs smoother when your software knows the process.
Subheader:
Built for process manufacturers - from formulation to compliance, without the workarounds.
9/10
12
Jun 4
QAD 👇
Headline:
Manufacturing moves fast. And so should your ERP.
Subheader:
Up and running in days, not months. Value from day one.
8/10
7
Jun 4
So what would I write instead?
M1 👇
Headline:
The factory floor doesn't wait. Neither should your software.
Subheader:
ERP built for manufacturers who need decisions in real time, not just reports later.
7/10
5
Jun 4
Compare that to a brand that leads with:
"Every other ERP was built for accountants. Ours was built for the factory floor."
That's not a headline. That's a position with a point of view behind it. This brand has a solid foundation to build copy on.
6/10
5
Jun 4
Deepest problem: no point of view!
*sobs escaping atp*
A manufacturer landing on any of these pages has no idea what the company actually believes about their industry. No truth that only they're saying.
Just features and claims floating in a vacuum of self-absorbed copy.
5/10
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