This was not our plan.
The kids are all graduating within the next four years. We were going to get an RV. I wanted an Airstream, but I wasnāt sure if the interior would be tall enough for him. I love home improvement projects, so I was going to buy an old one and remodel it. I was going to make a podcast studio in it for him.
We were going to travel. I-5 along the West Coast was first on the list. We both loved the ocean so much. We decided weād go to every state we hadnāt been to yet...but weād also go out of our way to drive around Nebraska. Weād go to tailgates at CU. I would install a griddle and make muenster grilled cheese sandwiches for everyone, on sourdough, his favorite, while he covered the game.
He said that even after he retired, he still wanted to interview recruits. He looked forward to not having the daily hustle of getting content up, but he knew in his heart that he would never be able to leave sports. We were going to travel to high schools and go to games. He loved talking to high school coaches, parents, and especially young athletes. I was going to take pictures and videos. We were going to find the athletes who were off the radar, the ones in smaller markets, and give them the spotlight they deserved.
The future now looks so different. It is devastatingly sad, but it is not bleak. Somehow, it never has been. The stories, the pictures, the memories, and the outpouring of love have brought us hope in moments when it feels like my chest is collapsing.
I am glad we didnāt wait until ātomorrowā to fully live life together. I had 3,216 days with him, and we lived life in those days.
We traveled. Even though he deeply loved the Celtics his whole life, he had never been to the Garden. For his 40th birthday, I surprised him with a trip to Boston. A few years later, he surprised me with a trip to my number one bucket list destination, Lisbon.
Starting in 2018, I tried to go to one away game with him every year. I got to accompany him to Washington, Minnesota, Utah, TCU, San Antonio, Nebraska, and West Virginia, and twice to Las Vegas for Media Days. All but one of those games, we lost. I was bummed that my pictures kind of fell to the wayside because most people wouldnāt want to remember those games. But we always said the trips were amazing, aside from the football.
Going to New York to cover the Heisman ceremony was one of his favorite experiences. He was awestruck that he had the opportunity to do that, and I was able to go with him.
Heād go on Yelp and find the best places to eat. Nothing under 4.3 stars, unless there was no other option. Weād finish every single trip with a food ranking. He loved a list and a ranking. Heād find out if there was an art museum for us to go to. That was never something he would have done on his own, but he knew I wanted to. He never rushed me. Weād both go at our own pace, and I was always slower. He would be waiting for me at the end of the floor, on his phone. Texting recruits. Sending a newsletter. Calling a coach. Iād walk over, heād look up and smile, turn his phone off immediately, and weād go to the next floor.
Sometimes life would allow us to go on a spontaneous trip, and we did. When they announced that Kansas was playing in the first round of the tournament in Salt Lake City, he said, āYou know, I donāt have anything big coming up and the kids arenāt here that weekend⦠we could actually drive there.ā
And we did.
He went with me on a work trip to South Dakota because he hadnāt been there before. I ended up having to drive because that was the week Mel Tucker left. He was on his phone and computer most of the trip, but he put it away so we could go to Mount Rushmore and see all the places from North by Northwest. He loved Hitchcock and old movies.
We drove out to Lawrence, Kansas, to watch a KU basketball game almost every year. I am the Jayhawk, but he appreciated the history and the legacy, and he became a fan too. He loved that I loved sports. In October last year, he spontaneously said maybe we should go to Late Night in the Phog. So we did.
Sometimes weād just go to an Airbnb in Boulder after a game instead of going home, just so we could experience something new. Or weād take a weekend to stay in Golden with the kids.
I wanted more days. I wanted more years. But I am so thankful we didnāt wait for the ārightā time to enjoy life together. We experienced life together to the fullest, every single one of those days we had.
Please take the trip. Treat yourself to really, really great food. Go to a hotel in your own city. Find somewhere that shows old movies. Go to a museum that maybe isnāt something you would normally seek out. Make time with your friends and family. Tell people you love them often, to the point of too much. Hug them.
We are not promised tomorrow, but we do have today.