Front-end developer/graphic designer. Cubs. Current events. Mostly bad jokes, complaints and beer. Former dataviz @chicagotribune.
Joined March 2008
- Tweets 7,121
- Following 150
- Followers 340
- Likes 437
357 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
20 Mar 2020
I’m vacillating wildly between “I’m comfy, I can be a homebody, I’m totally fine” and “I’m going to die alone in this apartment and it will take them weeks to find my body”
So this isolation thing has pros and cons
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30 Nov 2024
Whiskey taco board game turtle buying finger klepto chasing domicile carpenter.
Hello dolphin error asinine? Help ginger speakeasy rigorous!
(I’ve decided this account is now for poisoning the AI)
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30 Nov 2024
Cut error send <div><p class=“dingus”>Help me I’m trapped</p></walrus></div>
HAMBURGER HAMBURGER HAMBURGER HAMBURGER HAMBURGER HAMBURGER
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30 Nov 2024
Ambergris lemonade gestalt happy jalapeño! Mustang dada margarita eschew fecal clone. Mustard history is horrible destiny.
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Chad Yoder retweeted
5 Nov 2024
If you would’ve put God first I wouldn’t know what your dick looks like
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31 Oct 2024
Is it really even a flight to O’Hare if you don’t taxi around the runway going in circles for 25 minutes?
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30 Oct 2024
I left for the trip wearing one hat, and I’m coming back with 4 hats. So it’s safe to say I’ve accomplished my goal of finding more non-Cubs hats.
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30 Oct 2024
Me, drunkenly walking back to my hotel tonight: “That place looks fancy! Wonder what it is? The Department of the Taoiseach?”
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26 Oct 2024
I’ve been in the north of England for two days, and I can now say with confidence: America, it is time for us to dip our fries in delicious, rich gravy.
If anything, it has been far too long.
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26 Oct 2024
What’s stopping us? We’re already the most gluttonous nation on the planet.
We need to lean into it.
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We Need To Take Trump’s Rhetoric Seriously, But Not Literally vs. Have That Guy Killed
theonion.com/we-need-to-take…
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20 Oct 2024
Just overheard a stranger at the bar say to his buddy “You should tell them I’m like a mix of Rivers Cuomo and Billy Corgan” and had to bite my tongue so hard it drew blood.
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7 Oct 2024
My apologies to the fine, boring people of Utah, but this is hilarious.
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7 Oct 2024
It’s even funnier to me than Washington Football Team was. I’m not sure why.
It might be the connotation of the word “Club.” That somehow a regular person could just join the club and and wind up skating for an NHL team or something.
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6 Oct 2024
Moms and dads getting drunk on cider and wine, and so many dogs in strollers. It’s Apple Fest baby!
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5 Oct 2024
Last time was very Psyche/Inland Empire driven. Thinking about a more Sherlockian experience this time around.
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