KITABUSE, KITOKOTA … and Other Symptoms and Syndromes We Woke Up to.
So this morning Ugandans, woke up to what felt like a water balloon fight, a stink bomb, and some aggressive tree-climbing -all on Twitter. Somewhere between breakfast tea and checking UEDCL Light status, Uganda was gifted a brand-new vocabulary item: Peter Pan Syndrome.
Naturally, I scratched my head.
Peter who?
Because when doctors drop diagnoses on us non-doctors, eh… they don’t know the embarrassment they cause. You go home, Google the thing, read quietly, then close the tab like you never saw it. The fortunate thing with 'Peter Pan Syndrome' is that the patient doesn’t even understand it. They just say, “Eh… that musawo is legit. He diagnosed the thing.”
“What thing?”
“Banange! The Peter thing.”
Which Peter though?
Is it the Peter in "Peter Pointer, Peter Pointer, where are you? Here I am, here I am, how do you do?"
Or is it Chaka Demus & Pliers whispering from the cassette era that Pita Patta song:
"Have you ever been to bed, with music in your head… forgetting your daily bread?"
Because honestly, many of us have.
Then there are the stokers of fires -the professionals. The ones who love stirring hornets’ nests like it’s a paid internship. Where they see Peter passing Pata on the road, they run ahead shouting, “Peter, Pata abused your mother!” Then they sprint back, “Pata, Peter laughed!” Their skill is higher than a spire. Their aspiration unmatched. Spin doctors, really -which takes us neatly back to doctors and syndromes. Nga Muvuma! Now Peter is in a Pan too?
Meanwhile VAR checks the footage and announces calmly: “Pita is not an insider.”
Verdict: Penalty kick for Pata. What a pity.
But here’s the thing. A simple “Grow up” was already an insult. Now we’ve upgraded to fairy tales?
Michael Jackson once proudly said, “I am Peter Pan.” To him, it wasn’t an insult. It was innocence. Magic. Refusal to let the world harden you. He built Neverland not because he feared adulthood -but because childhood had been stolen from him. He chased youth, yes, sometimes tragically, but also because he believed children see truth without filters.
And then my mind wanders -as it does. To the
#LostBoys of South Sudan, who grew up too fast. To the Lost Boyz of South Jamaica, Queens, story telling about "Renee" and survival. Different Peters. Different strokes. Different pans. Same world.
Maybe, just maybe, a little Peter Pan spirit -joy, curiosity, mischief without malice -isn’t such a bad thing for us Ugandans right now.
Otherwise banange… every diagnosis will feel like an abuse.
Back to Wonderland.
#SatireIsNotACrime #KiUgandaKinyuma