(RETIRED)
Joined January 2013
- Tweets 2,555
- Following 79
- Followers 291,485
- Likes 268
584 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
15 Jul 2019
I spoke to the @washingtonpost about how this account started and why I’m not doing it any more. washingtonpost.com/news/maga…
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24 Mar 2019
🚨 BREAKING: MUELLER NEWS 🚨
Only joking, but for real, the Florida Legislature is trying to disenfranchise voters with some bullshit shenanigans. Sign this petition to prove you’re cool and I’ll follow you out of solidarity. change.org/p/florida-legisla…
23 Mar 2019
I’ve seen some truly insane things come out of Florida over the last few years, but I don’t think anything has shocked me more than what the state legislature is currently trying to do to the voting rights of ex-felons. slate.com/news-and-politics/…
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23 Mar 2019
I’ve seen some truly insane things come out of Florida over the last few years, but I don’t think anything has shocked me more than what the state legislature is currently trying to do to the voting rights of ex-felons. slate.com/news-and-politics/…
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23 Mar 2019
For real, I currently only follow Jimmy Buffett, but I'm willing to let that insanely funny bit die for this cause, because it clearly deserves more attention.
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23 Mar 2019
Okay, earnest tweets over. I promise I'll tweet something funny again soon.
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4 Mar 2019
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4 Mar 2019
Florida Man Fire Bombs Garage That Impounded His Car, Hits His Own Vehicle wftv.com/news/local/man-thro…
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3 Mar 2019
Florida Man Accused of Masturbating in Front of Children Says He Was Just Adjusting His Hernia wric.com/news/national/flori…
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Florida Man retweeted
25 Feb 2019
Florida Man Steals $33,000 Worth of Rare Coins, Cashes Them in CoinStar Machine for $29.30 palmbeachpost.com/news/20190…
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24 Feb 2019
Uh-oh, I think I know where this is going.
*clicks on article*
Well that wasn’t what I was expecting. Touchè, Florida.
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