JUST BEEN LEAKED NOTE BY HEAD OF TORY CAMPAIGN (the one standing in for the one on leave of absence courtesy of William Hill) MEMO ALL CANDIDATES โฆ THE REALITY. 1. We cannot campaign on our record because nothing has improved since we took office. 2. The biggest change we made last Parliament was Brexit and we canโt campaign on that because the people who hated it hate it more and the people who liked it know we have ballsed it up. 3. We canโt campaign on our leaders because we have had five in eight years which suggests none of them were very good. 4. We canโt campaign on Labour being a risk to security and the economy because nobody can do worse than we have and anyway people seem to think @Keir_Starmer is pretty decent and he is for sure not Corbyn. 5. So LADS, all we have left is this โฆ behave like we have lost, itโs all over bar the shouting, towel thrown in, and hope to God millions of people donโt bother to vote us out because they think somebody else will do it. I know itโs desperate and a bit anti-democratic but needs must. Weโre shit and we know we are and so this is it!!! Fuck everything up. Crash the car. Make ourselves look even more unelectable and useless at campaigns. Willie Whitelaw used to talk about travelling the country stirring up apathy. That is all we have left. Do it. Talk up supermajority. I know it is meaningless but it is the only way to stop the superdefeat we all know we deserve. Cheers. Btw weโre having Sunday drinks 1pm. BYOB ๐พ ๐ฅ ps new slogan. STAY AT HOME. DONโT VOTE. KEEP THE TORIES haha!!
"If Labour win this time, they'll change the rules so they're in power for a very long time," says Rishi Sunak, whose government has
- Rejigged electoral systems
- Changed seat boundaries
- Introduced Voter ID
- Raised election spending limits
- Extended voting overseas
Remember
1. There is no money because the Tories crashed the economy
2. They made dozens of promises at the last election which they failed to keep.
3. Sunak promised to stop the boats, cut the waiting lists. Heโs failed.
4. Tories swore theyโd not increase VAT. They did.
After 14 years the Tories leave
๐งโโ๏ธ NHS worse
๐ง rivers and beaches worse
๐ railways worse
๐ด economy worse
๐ mortgages higher
๐ต taxes higher
๐ Army smaller
๐ฉโโ๏ธ court waits longer
๐ฌ๐ง UK reputation weaker
-than they found them.
Itโs time for change.
Itโs time for Labour ๐น
This isnโt about Julie Etchingham being a weak moderator. Itโs about Sunak thinking itโs fine to talk over and ignore women who challenge him. He gets this way consistently with women in positions of power. Be it on committees, in interviews or debates.
#ITVDebate
So it seems that the Tory Party and Rishi Sunak have been in a Mexican stand-off - Sunak being threatened with a VONC and Sunak threatening to destroy them all by pressing the button on a GE. We all know that Rishi is petulant, and he marched out in the rain and did it. 1/8