I am the shit.

Joined May 2010
1,827 Photos and videos
The -4° retweeted
Replying to @LaGrecca333
Totally unfair comparison: Olympics is just 1 event which lasts less than 10seconds 😂
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That would be no fun!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Selling 0.0000000001% of my startup for $1. This values us at a clean $1 trillion. I become the second-ever trillionaire. DM if interested.
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Bought this vending machine for $50k It sells 1,000 drinks a day Upped the price from $0.50 to $9.00 each Now I make $9k a day and the vending machine is worth $1.9 million The secret? I’m not afraid to make shit up online
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I've been watching them talk about the match for 20 minutes and I still haven't even figured out who is playing.
Community note
This image is AI altered. Original: x.com/_ma__tt/status…
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Get Dad something fun for Father's Day...
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Finance, Sales, Marketing, IT
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"Dating a model" can mean one of two very different things, depending where you live in California
LA: Have your agent talk to my agent. SF: Have your agent talk to my agent.
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Took me a while 🤣
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Just 15 episodes?
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Well it's one or the other!
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Congrats to Larry Page, he’s about to become the world’s richest billionaire this friday!
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😂😂😂😂
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