Fucked around and finally got a Ronaldo jersey. I did drop a band, but money isn't real.. I'll make it back. I'm so excited to start wearing it around.
I genuinely get depressed when I don't have a hyperfixation to feed my brain and latch onto. I compensate those periods of my life with retail therapy. Adhd is in my nightmare blunt rotation.
The big mall near me has never had a Miniso, but on the website it says it does now. I'm going to the mall today to look for fifa jersey's, but I'm excited to stop by Miniso (if it's actually there). If the website is lying to me you'll see me on the news by tonight.
I also hate not being able to make the conclusions for myself. I trust my ability and knowledge within Psychology. However, it's truly humorous how many symptoms overlap and mimic each other.
It's an endless game of "Is this a symptom of my ADHD?" "Do I feel this way bc of my BPD?" "Is my plurality a result of this?" I have no fucking clue because I lack the ability to study myself from a birds eye perspective. Any theories I make end up inherently biased bc I'm Me.
i've changed so much over the years it's hard not to be analytical over it. i've changed fundamentally in ways that Shouldn't be summed up by mere "maturity." Although, maybe that is the simple solution and I'm over complicating it.
every now and then my emotions flip off like a circuit popping thats using too much energy. i feel everything and then Silence. I feel nothing at all, empty. i have 0 access to ANY emotion i've ever felt.
it irritates me beyond belief. It makes it difficult for me to determine what feelings are Real or fabricated. even affection, i find it difficult to understand if i really love someone when my emotions are either fully present or fully absent. it's an endless cycle i can't stop
i actually feed on intelligence. i love it when people know a lot about a lot of things, such as music, films, religion, beliefs, and history. i love listening to people's opinions. i want to suck in all these smart things like a sponge.