I like yoga, dogs, spending time outside, #Seahawks, #Padres, @Padreider, Oxford commas, and reading post-apocalyptic fiction đź’€
Joined March 2011
- Tweets 675
- Following 273
- Followers 257
- Likes 2,684
61 Photos and videos
16 Dec 2022
One of my best friends from high school is facing metastatic cancer. Doctors have given her a 29% chance of surviving 2 to 5 years. Thank you for all of your positive thoughts, donations, and shares. #fuckcancer gofund.me/2941aaba
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8 Oct 2022
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23 Jul 2022
"I'd rather me mate cry on me shoulder than go to his funeral next week."
A huge win for Paddy, but even better message. #UFCLondon
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Drinking milk as an adult is unhinged behaviour. trib.al/pvaDoSa
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8 Jun 2022
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16 Sep 2021
There was a bounty put on Harry’s head when he served in Afghanistan as an attack pilot. He chose to still go. That doesn’t sound very beta to me
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24 Aug 2021
Jordan Klepper vs. anti-vax protesters in NYC
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8 Aug 2021
“I trust my immune system” is such a weird reason not to get the vaccine.
Yeah, I trust mine to protect me too, which is why I gave it a detailed dossier on what the virus looks like so it can handle it.
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Ash Hauser retweeted
4 Aug 2021
the sheer amount of people who would rather get an exotic disease that they believe the chinese bioengineered in a lab over a remarkably effective vaccine created by the U.S. is pretty staggering
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20 Jun 2021
Workin in the stutter step with my 3 year old
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So the odds of getting a blood clot from the J&J vaccine are literally one in a million and they stopped administering it.
Do you know the odds of getting blood clots from birth control? It's 1/1000. (This is considered very low odds.)
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9 Jan 2021
It’s almost as if none if these folks have actually read one word of Orwell
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9 Jan 2021
the republicans who claim twitter's trump ban is unconstitutional censorship are the same folks who said a private cake shop had a god given right to refuse service to a gay couple. like make up your mind pls?
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Ash Hauser retweeted
9 Jan 2021
Absolutely nothing is stopping the president from speaking directly to the people. Twitter is merely declining to offer up its own platform as the means for the president to speak indirectly to its own users. Trump can do a press conference, livestream, or radio address any time.
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6 Jan 2021
Just to be very clear about this, it's not JUST the violence or the breach & occupation of a public building that makes this a crisis. It's the fact that it was directed by the president, specifically to disrupt the vote counting that would formally certify his elected successor.
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30 Dec 2020
It’s almost like the two are correlated...
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30 Dec 2020
Y’all screaming “my body, my choice” about COVID vaccines should realize that we’re spiraling into “my ER, my choice” about who receives treatment.
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Ash Hauser retweeted
21 Dec 2020
This holiday, I’m gonna stay home in my trash can and avoid people.
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Ash Hauser retweeted
14 Dec 2020
I think he did it but I just can’t prove it
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