Two moments stay with me when I think about giving and receiving awards and recognition.
The first one is from years ago, I got recognized for something. An award, a shoutout, a moment where someone said this one is truly yours. My closest colleague didn't. He worked just as hard. Probably harder on some days. We both knew it. Neither of us said it out loud, but it sat between us for a while.
The second was in the last two months, sitting on the other side of that same kind of decision at Unstop. Two people, both genuinely good, and I had to pick one.
I thought about him.
Here's what I've figured out after being on both sides: the threshold is almost never as clear as it looks from the outside. You try to be fair. You use every signal you have. And then you live with the fact that someone who deserved it didn't get it this time.
What makes it harder is that you can't always explain it in a way that feels complete. Not because the reasoning isn't there, but because full context rarely fits in a conversation. And the person on the other side isn't wrong to feel what they feel.
I've stopped trying to make recognition feel perfectly fair to everyone. I don't think it can be. What I try to do instead is make sure the people who didn't get it this time know they were seen. That the decision was hard because they made it hard.
My old colleague went on to do really well. I hope he knows I always thought he deserved that moment too.
If you're a leader making these calls, don't pretend the line is cleaner than it is. And if you're the one who didn't get it, that feeling is valid. It doesn't mean you were wrong about your own work.