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whalefact @awhalefact

whale fact for you. Black Lives Matter. 🇵🇸 | merch:awhalefact.com

Joined August 2018
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whalefact
@awhalefact
25 Aug 2018
whales are pretty fuckin big
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my whales are enormous my global is warming every day it gets harder to survive knicks in five
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apologies in advance if the whales do not show up to your social events this month, they’re just very busy being extra gay rn
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my flippers are splashing my ocean is salty my whales i adore knicks in 4
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this pride month, the only thing gayer than the whales is you
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imagine a whale picture it in your mind the curves, the ridges, the barnacles now picture it in the ocean oh yeah that’s a whale alright
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whales are so big they probably wouldn’t fit in most TSA-approved carry-on suitcases
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i hope this email is unable to find you as you wander and explore the vast expanse of the unknowable ocean
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it was the best of times (eating lots of krill) it was the worst of times (no more krill)
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fool me once, i’m a whale fool me twice, still a whale fool me three times, why are you bullying me i’m literally a whale
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today is at least one whale’s birthday
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the whales are fucking lucky that they’re largely unaware of everything going on this planet right now
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i am listening. i am learning.
regarding yesterday's 'regarding yesterday's post' post i'm sorry. i fucked up. yesterday i posted a post that i whale regret for the rest of my life. i posted false information under the guise of apologizing to elijah wood, betraying my sacred duty as companion and friend to the hobbit, frodo baggins. i said that elijah woods was in free willy, which is just not true. elijah wood was in flipper, an equally whale-involved 90's movie. i apologize to my family, my friends, elijah woods from flipper, flipper from flipper, elijah woods from the lord of the rings, Jason James Richter from free willy, samwise gamgee the character from the lord of the rings, and to those who trusted me. i can be better. i whale be better. -whale

ALT regarding yesterday's 'regarding yesterday's post' post i'm sorry. i fucked up. yesterday i posted a post that i whale regret for the rest of my life. i posted false information under the guise of apologizing to elijah wood, betraying my sacred duty as companion and friend to the hobbit, frodo baggins. i said that elijah woods was in free willy, which is just not true. elijah wood was in flipper, an equally whale-involved 90's movie. i apologize to my family, my friends, elijah woods from flipper, flipper from flipper, elijah woods from the lord of the rings, Jason James Richter from free willy, samwise gamgee the character from the lord of the rings, and to those who trusted me. i can be better. i whale be better. -whale

whalefact
@awhalefact
Apr 2
i hope you whale forgive me one day
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i hope you whale forgive me one day
whalefact
@awhalefact
Apr 1
whales are so small now haha april fools still big
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whales are so small now haha april fools still big
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ice can’t destroy our country and murder our neighbors if they all get flattened by a blue whale
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whales are so big that if you tried to put one behind your ear like a cool college professor you would instead be absolutely crushed to death (but still kind of cool)
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the whales will not be watching the new hbo harry potter show. you might think this is because very few whales watch any television at all, but it is actually because jk rowling is a terf ass bitch
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the whales might be more concerned that today is friday the 13th if not for every day already being such a nightmare
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“the world isn’t kind” the whales are and you can be too. it is has never been more important than now
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the whales may not know how much time they have left, but what they do know is to spend that time with the ones they love, instead of wasting their lives chasing money and status
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the whales do be chasing krill though
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