ALT Founded in 1999 on the heels of the Satanic "panic" and growing steadily ever since, Info Wars has distinguished itself as an invaluable tool for brainwashing and controlling the masses. With a shrewd mix of delusional paranoia and dubious anti-aging nutrition hacks, they strive to make life both scarier and longer for everyone, a commendable goal. They are a true unicorn, capable of simultaneously inspiring public support for billionaires and stoking outrage at an inept federal state that can assassinate JFK but can't even put a man on the Moon. Through it all, InfoWars has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society-values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron. No price would be too high for such a cornucopia of malleable assets and minds. And yet, in a stroke of good fortune, a special interest group has outwitted the hapless owner of InfoWars (a forgettable man with an already-forgotten name)