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stuart wright @bearbonesnorm
Joined January 2012
  • Tweets 3,372
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648 Photos and videos
When I was growing up, the best conversations I had with my dad would nearly always start with the words, "now don't tell your mum".
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Do you ever look at someone and think - why has no one ever hit you with a shovel?
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Remember, if you come to me with a problem, expect a solution, not sympathy.
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"You're no better than an animal" "Better? I was just hoping that one day we might be half as good"
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Tomorrow, help someone who you know has absolutely no chance of ever repaying you.
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We may all be in the same storm but don't for one minute tell yourself that we're all in the same boat.
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Artificial intelligence? Surely we could have had a decent stab at sorting out natural stupidity before we went down that road?
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I was out for a walk and got to thinking just how different life might be if otters had waterproof pockets and bear trappers kept their hats neatly trimmed.
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Please do spare a thought for all those people with a stepladder ... they may never have known their real ladder.
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Appears I'm a Misanthrope. Who knew? Oh yeah, everyone.
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Some days are just a collection of disappointments stuck together with shit. Today isn't one of those days, so I'll remember that for the next time one does come round.
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Why are there companies selling luggage at the airport? WTF arrives carrying armfuls of clothes having previously thought, 'fuck it, we'll pack when we get there'?
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When having a discussion with a significant other, remember to always avoid using the phrase, "my mum was right about you".
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Have you ever thought how some people are like Slinky springs? Generally not good for much but would bring a smile to your face if pushed down the stairs.
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Those days that seem little more than a series of minor disappointments punctuated with random shite.
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Do you know what happens when you're offended? Nothing, now pick your bottom lip up off the floor and 'koff.
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I like to help out where I can, so here's Collette thanking me for bringing attention to her delicious baps.
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"Somebody should really do something about that" ...... you are somebody.
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Given the attitudes of society, you'd think being good looking or pretty was an achievement worthy of praise - it isn't, it's just genetics.
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"I was hoping I might get a refund" "Were you? I was hoping I might get to shag Divina McCall but it turns out you don't all always get what you want"
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