“Mr Big Bucks And The Boys” - Forbes
Joined April 2024
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18 Photos and videos
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16 Jan 2025
To all the journalists claiming that Jay Leno got the better of me in our hotel lobby spat: fuck you, go fuck yourself, and Ive never read your newspaper a day in my life
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May 23
Support group for those of us who have a dad with a head that looks like a minecraft block. Further support group for those who have a dad that lives his life like he has a head that looks like a Minecraft block
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May 23
Dude your gramdma fucking SUCKS she has all these poilitical opinions that make me clench my asscrack so tight but not because I disagree. I just fucking hate grandmas and the concept of them
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May 23
Turning on the cable news and they’re talking about the Buttcrack UFO. Okay, “That’s Enough Internet For Today”
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May 23
During my Near Death Experience I saw many figures and deities from a variety of traditions playing a game like dodgeball amongst themselves but with souls. Making a mockery of souls. Using souls like dodge balls. Pissing me off and making me piss my near death experience shorts
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Apr 11
Had a dream where i had Supermane’s strength and I uppercutted my grandma into the Sun . I dont know what got into me. Ive always been such a “get along” kind of person. I can’t wait to pay someone $275 to help me make sense of this
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Apr 10
Oh you’re a “Mossad Agent?”. Yeah right. You wouldn’t be able to find a piece of moss on a log if it smacked you right in the head. You couldnt tell a hare’s song from a rabbit’s quartet deep in the forest . The intricacies of Nature’s dance overwhelm you and your soul
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Apr 8
The “Syke” rule when it comes Divorce: if you say Syke within 3 days of divorcing the monkeys clapping cymbals in your brain increase the speed of their cymbal clapping
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Apr 8
The Wellness industry keeps rejecting my ideas because theyre too powerful and too real
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Apr 8
We are saddened to report that Jordan B Peterson has died in a freak Build A Bear accident
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Mar 29
My Father invented the idea for the Big inflatable guys outside Car Dealerships. Some days I’m so proud of him i could cry, other days i cant stand up straight due to the shame of the family name
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Mar 10
Hastily putting a fresh set of batteries in Neil De Grasse Tyson’s back during commercial break so he can say “Aliens are real? Show me a picture then!” for the 934th time on MSNBC to an audience of suburban moms who are wondering when the light will return to their eyes
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Mar 10
If I ever met Bigfoot I would roll a J and just smoke and kick it with him . You’d be asking him all types of questions “where have you been?” “What is your thought on “Politics?” , majorly fucking up the vibe.
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Mar 8
The spiritual journey is like getting kicked in the dick over and over again by a dude with a mandala tattoo and epic crystals on his wrist. Don’t forget to like and subscribe
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Mar 8
If your UFO looks like crap I’m not getting in it. Get out of my face with that. I identify pieces of crap all day, you can not trick me
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Mar 8
Go ahead, raise your army of 1000 Jimmy Kimmels. I will raise my army of 10,000 Jimmy Fallons. Do not Fuck with Me.
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Mar 6
You are not a ‘Fallen Angel “. You are a piece of French Toast on the carpet of a Best Western. My girlfriend’s cousin has seen Pinterest memes scarier than you
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Mar 6
I’m the type of guy that can distract your father in law with a conversation about college football as I scan his auric field for malevolent entity signatures
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Mar 6
Me: that guy playing Biden wasn’t the real Biden. That wasn’t him. We were being duped with a fake
Therapist: okay but we really need to talk about your mother
Me: very similar situation
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Mar 2
Have you been down the Reptilian rabbit hole ? Have you been down the Reptilian inventing country music hole? Have you been down the Parents are a Programmed Hologram rabbit hole? Matter of fact have you ever even been in a single hole
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Mar 2
Wife keeps telling me my shit is as about as good as “Regime Change.” Whatever the hell that means. Whatever the hell that fucking means
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