Telling him "sometimes I just want a cuddle without feeling like it must lead to sex" IS her trying to make her marriage work. She's telling you she wants to remain connected and attracted, but that the pressure to have sex simply because she wanted you to hold her is causing problems.
I understand you want to believe it is always the man's fault because women have no agency and are essentially automatons or children.
I do not buy that.
If women have the agency to choose to get married, they have the agency to make their marriage work.
Complaining that it is always the man is an excuse.