Helen Andrews on having a profoundly disabled sibling. She tells the truth about what it's like:
Sometimes, focusing on the positive becomes a way of denying reality. Yes, there were joyous moments. But changing diapers gets a lot harder after 18 years, when the person weighs as much as you do. My sister threw tantrums and acted out. My parents couldn’t leave her alone in the house even to run to the store. It was like the most labor-intensive parts of infant care extended for years with no end in sight.
Hardest of all, the object of all this sacrifice couldn’t give anything back.
Andrews goes on to point out that some parents who take care of these children are narcissists, and it's all about themselves.
I was expecting the article to end up making the case for abortion in these situations. Instead, she decides that the Christian position is that it's ok because in heaven, the handicapped will still be disabled but "the transformation would be in the rest of us."
I have no idea what this means. So in heaven, they will still not be able to take care of themselves, but it's ok because you'll have angels as nannies so you don't have to change diapers? Or healthy people will continue to act as caregivers but will do it with a smile?
What a bizarre op-ed, combining brutally honest and courageous reflections, and ending with bizarre half-baked theological speculations that are simply invented to avoid the obvious conclusion.