It was December 2023. We were in the family parlor in the East. You know the setting, crates of warm Malt, garden eggs, and heavy humidity.
The agenda was simple: Chidi’s Wedding.
Chidi is my cousin. He is 34. He has no job. He lives in the family house.
But Chidi wanted a "Shutdown" wedding. He released a budget of N5.7 Million.
Uncle Obi, the head of the meeting, cleared his throat. He didn't even look at the other cousins. He looked straight at me.
with that smile elders use when they want to bill you.
Uncle Obi: "Chizitere, Nne, look at you. You are glowing. God has buttered your bread in the city. You see, your brother Chidi is ready to settle down. We have calculated everything. The budget is N5.7m. We the elders will raise N500k. We are looking at our daughter, the star of the family, to cover the rest. the hall, food, and drinks. It is small for you."
I sat there, freezing. "The rest? As in N5.2 million?"
The room went quiet. Everyone looked at me, smiling, waiting for me to say "No problem, send the account number."
I adjusted my glasses. I looked at Chidi. He was pressing his phone, looking unbothered, like it was his birthright.
I cleared my throat.
Me: "Uncle, wait o. Before I speak... how much is Chidi contributing? He is the groom."
Uncle Obi: (Frowning) "Ah, Asa, you know the situation of the country. Chidi is still finding his feet. That is why we are family. We must cover his nakedness."
That was the moment I chose violence. I dropped the Unpopular Opinion.
Me: "Uncle, I will not give a dime. If Chidi has no job and no savings, he has no business doing a wedding of N5.7 million. Let him go to the registry, sign the paper, and go home. I will not finance a luxury party for a man who cannot afford to buy pampers for the child he is about to make."
Boom.
The scene was exactly like that picture. The swords came out.
My Aunty slammed her hand on the table.
Aunty Ngozi: "Look at you! You are a Biomedical Engineer! Do you know what that means? It is one of the biggest occupations in the world! You drive a big car! You work in a big Teaching Hospital! What is N5.7 million to you? It is chicken change! Do you want your brother to do a small wedding so his mates will laugh at us?"
Chidi: (Finally speaking up) "Asa, I am disappointed. I thought we were blood. You want to disgrace me? You want my mates to laugh at me?"
Uncle Obi: "You are wicked! A stingy girl! You will rot with that your money! If you don't help him, who will?"
They gaslighted me for 2 hours. They called me "Arrogant." They said the city had corrupted me.
I stood my ground. I didn't drop one Kobo.
They gathered the money from themselves. Uncle Obi sold a plot of land. Aunty Ngozi borrowed from a loan shark. They threw the wedding. It was the talk of the town. I didn’t attend the weeding, i traveled back to Benin.
Fast forward to last week.
I received a call. It was Uncle Obi. His voice was no longer loud; it was trembling.
Uncle Obi: "Asa... Nne... are you busy? We have a crisis. Chidi's wife is in labor. Complications. The hospital is asking for deposit. And... the landlord has locked their door because of 1½ year rent. Please, shame is trying to kill us. Can you send something?"
I took a deep breath.
Me: "Uncle, but you people spent N5.7 million on Jollof rice and DJ just a year ago. Where is the 'Glory' of that wedding? Can the wedding gown pay the rent now?"
He was silent. The phone cut.
The Unpopular Opinion that got me attacked?
"Poverty should be quiet."
We have a toxic culture where we shame people for not funding the reckless lifestyle of family members. We call it "Support," but it is actually "Enabling"
I am still the "Wicked Cousin" in their eyes.
But I am a Wicked Cousin with my savings intact, while the "Good Family Members" are still broke.
Sometimes, you have to let them point the swords at you, so you don't use your own money to buy the knife they will use to stab you later.
What's an unpopular relationship/marriage opinion that would get you in this position lol.