Ghana's premier source of unfiltered, unverified, and satirical news
Joined June 2026
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There is palpable anxiety in the affluent suburb of East Legon where local property owners are reportedly holding hands and praying against what they describe as a "sudden and unprovoked threat to the real estate ecosystem."
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While security agencies are celebrating the arrests as a win for cybercrime officials, East Legon’s landlord association has viewed the development with sheer terror, realizing that their primary economic engine is currently sitting in a holding cell.
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According to insider reports, an emergency meeting was held where landlords debated whether to petition the government for a "special economic waiver" for tenants who drive cars with expired DV plates and have accumulated suspicious amounts of wealth
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In what immigration experts are calling the fastest background check in administrative history, Canadian border officials have officially barred Ghana midfielder Thomas Partey from entering the country for the Black Stars' upcoming World Cup fixture against Panama
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Canada said their highly trained decision-makers apply the law "consistently and without exception," though insiders hint the decision was finalized the exact moment the agent hit the "Images" tab and saw a courtroom sketch
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The Cassava Express retweeted
Mr. Musk described the South African flag as "too woke" and pledged to build a border wall around the entire country to stop illegal immigration
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In a desperate bid to avoid a repeat of past chaos, the Ghana Football Association (GFA) has fast-tracked the release of nearly $6.8 million to the Black Stars ahead of the upcoming World Cup
According to insiders, GFA accountants are still experiencing vivid flashbacks from the infamous 2014 Brazil World Cup, where delayed bonus payments led to dramatic scenes of players refusing to board the team bus, last-minute cash deliveries in suitcases, and a full-blown bonus revolt that overshadowed the team’s on-field performance.
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Some accountants, who were still visibly shaken from the 2014 event, made sure the money went out on time
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Congrats to @elonmusk on his trillionaire status. We can't wait to see what you do with X-Land (the country formally known as South Africa)
Hours after officially becoming the world’s first trillionaire following a sudden, inexplicable surge in Tesla and SpaceX stock, tech mogul @elonmusk announced his most ambitious venture yet: a hostile corporate takeover of the Republic of South Africa
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Hours after officially becoming the world’s first trillionaire following a sudden, inexplicable surge in Tesla and SpaceX stock, tech mogul @elonmusk announced his most ambitious venture yet: a hostile corporate takeover of the Republic of South Africa
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Mr. Musk described the South African flag as "too woke" and pledged to build a border wall around the entire country to stop illegal immigration
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Opposition MP Kojo Oppong Nkrumah announced Thursday that he has finally discovered a massive youth unemployment crisis, a revelation that conveniently hit him the exact moment his party lost power and moved to the opposite side of the parliamentary aisle.
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“Every time I stood at a podium and said the word 'Digitalization,' I distinctly remember thinking that at least 50,000 jobs had magically materialized in the atmosphere, Mr Oppong Nkrumah said at a press conference about the time he was in government.
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#WorldCup
The South African FA (SAFA) has launched an investigation into their team's defeat to Mexico.
The FA claims that Mexico’s tactical strategy relied entirely on an undocumented, unregulated influx of goals into the South African net.
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"We are highly suspicious of the goals scored," an SAFA statement read. "Their Mexican forwards utilized a level of pace and technical skill that frankly constitutes an illegal influx of highly qualified foreign labor. It is unfair competition."
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The English Football Association has officially decreed that Premier League players are permitted to shake hands with former Arsenal midfielder Thomas Partey—provided they are encased in military-grade, hermetically sealed Level A Hazmat suits
#WorldCup
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"We wanted to show solidarity and sportsmanship, but honestly, it's a bit hard to press from the front when your internal oxygen supply is dipping below critical levels," said England Forward Harry Kane
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Sports Minister Kofi Adams has officially signed a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) with the Universal Association of Local Juju Men & Spiritual Artisans (UALJMSA). This strategic alliance guarantees that Ghana will lift the next FIFA World Cup trophy.
#WorldCup
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"For too long, we have relied on European tactics, physical conditioning, and passing drills," Minister Adams explained.
"Why invest in expensive training facilities when a well-placed, spiritually charged egg behind the opponent's goalpost can achieve the same result?"
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