everyone’s favourite punching bag — rp, parody account (brought by yours truly @corcnacht)
Joined April 2026
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if you don't you don't
love me at my deserve me at my
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chris red(failed) | parody retweeted
CHRIS REDFIELD AS A FATHER HEADCANONS!! (I’ve been waiting for this, ngl. Give this poor man a family, he deserves it). Chris is a family man. He’s always been, ever since he was a young person. Maybe raising claire helped in that, but it [1/14] corcnacht.straw.page
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okay, fine, I did get lost, but can you blame me? That place was a damn maze
how I was moving whenever I had to get past a monster in that creepy mansion (they jumped me anyway. Also, I may have gotten lost)
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how I was moving whenever I had to get past a monster in that creepy mansion (they jumped me anyway. Also, I may have gotten lost)
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chris red(failed) | parody retweeted
Chris drew this because his fu got lost
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chris red(failed) | parody retweeted
If you’ve gotta stop smoking then he’s gotta stop drinking
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“Hey. Hey, look at me.”
Chris’ hand slowly lowered, relaxing fully near his side as he took a determined step forward. His mind was screaming at him to comfort him, but he knew better than to invade his space without any notice.
Grayson froze a bit at that question. Why? Because-
“I don’t want to hurt anyone..I just want to be free from this. I want to be..𝙣𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙡 again,” his voice cracked, flinching at the hand reaching out to him, but ultimately he didn’t move.
He barely dared to breathe. His
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He didn’t want to trigger any reaction that could have gotten any of them hurt. But the methodical nature of himself quickly faded as he completely crumbled before him. Instinctively, his hand reached forward once again, this time to settle reassuringly on his shoulder.
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He did not fear him. The trust that had been built between them over time was too strong to vanish because of a single revelation. He was going to take the risk, and he didn’t regret it.
“You’re going to be okay. You hear me? We’ll find a solution, I promise.”
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“Yeah, well, they’re my men. And they’re all good people.“
Chris’ fondness had indeed been evident in his tone. Each one of those vests was a face he knew the full history of. And they all trusted him with their life, even if he hadn’t always accomplished that duty.
Loki looked at him, She noticed his smile when he regarded his team. The conversation was nice.. warm. It felt like someone actually cared about her.
"You seem to care alot about them.."
She trailed off, not knowing how to accept this.. this new reality where she wasnt
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It wasn’t the first time he said those words. To some, it might have appeared as nothing more than a recycled phrase forced upon him by protocol. A necessary step that was likely to fail, given the circumstances. But there was clear determination behind his statement.
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It wasn’t the cold mechanical movement triggered by duty, rather a genuine, caring decision that defied program. The ultimate proof that even he, who people worshipped as a hero, was human.
“Nothing’s gonna happen to you, I’ll make sure of it.”
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did you guys hear this? I’m proud of my kid
Id like to say chris redfield is the sorta half maybe the best dad ever
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chris red(failed) | parody retweeted
Loki and chris headcannon!
Loki wouldve definitely told Chris about everything that happened to her early on.. then she'd cry in his arms until she'd fall asleep. 🥹 I feel like this would motivate Chris to be the best father he possibly could be.
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“Yeah, probably not.”
Chris’ body abandoned the (almost non existent) comfort of his hospital chair as he spoke. He approached his partner for a moment, adjusting one of the pillows behind her to help her sit up and find an hopefully less painful position.
“Better?”
She giggled. The stitches made her wince.
"Then, let's order everything on the menu. I'm up for anything that's not spicy. I'm probably not allowed that at the moment."
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As soon as he had made sure she was okay, he reached towards his phone, which had long been forgotten inside his pocket, and started browsing through a ton of different food places. The one they always attended, her favourite one, even the closest restaurant.
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chris red(failed) | parody retweeted
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