Value in nuance.
Joined February 2016
- Tweets 993
- Following 249
- Followers 45
- Likes 70,305
8 Photos and videos
8 Aug 2022
I put my suit on (well, the top half), shaved, and got a nice haircut for a zoom interview for a promotion. Then the damn company computer’s camera wouldn’t connect. What a waste of my A-game
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28 Jul 2022
Attention all businesses/ marketing fuckos: if you put a 7 minute add on YouTube, I, like my entire generation, will stop what we’re doing, see what it’s for, and then never purchase anything from you. EVER.
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7 Jul 2022
Giving people enough rope to hang themselves also give them enough to tie you up in knots. Make the decision to do so, wisely.
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17 Nov 2021
And remember folks, when speaking with a customer service rep, alway be as rude and mean as possible. It not only asserts your dominance over lesser humans, but also ensures the reps really want to help with your issue. It’s basic human nature
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7 Nov 2021
It actually happened in the wild today. I was telling the truth about how little Elon Musk has actually done— He just markets himself. And my roommate’s bf came out of another room to defend him.
It was the internet come to life.
8 Sep 2021
I just realized Wedding Crashers is a heist movie. With Owen Wilson having to be talked into one more big score. Then it all goes off the rails.
Textbook.
9 May 2021
Wait, am I the only one who realizes @netflix is leaving money on the table by not making a Fullmetal Alchemest series.
I will f'ing write it for you. If I can't be part of Cowboy Bebop, I'll happily make the 2nd best show ever be more popular. Also, I look like Maes Hughes.
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9 May 2021
10: LinkedIn: Dude, Linkedin fucking sucks. If your company uses this bs pseudo social media site you are more invested in sight, not substance. I do truly hope, that your company fails, but only due to your own mismanagement. Read a resume. Facebook is not a resume.
Chris Trout retweeted
26 Apr 2021
DYK that Native American way of governing influenced the writers of our U.S. Constitution? Benjamin Franklin and others were in regular contact with the Iroquois Confederacy and invited Great Council leaders to address the Continental Congress in 1776. fieldmuseum.org/blog/democra…
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11 Apr 2021
9: Your ignorance of science is NOT equal to one's knowledge of science.
I'm looking at you, anti-vax and flat-earth fucks.
You go to a doctor if you have cancer, so listen to a climatologist about, well, climate. Not racists with their own pod-casts.
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18 Mar 2021
8: Always call a spade a spade, a shovel a shovel, and a prostitute a lady.
Life is difficult enough, and it never hurts to be polite.
-Life lesson paraphrased from @PatrickRothfuss. Sir, thank you for the lesson I will take to my grave.
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18 Mar 2021
7: If you eat the food, but insult the cook or culture, you don't deserve the food.
I've learned more from line-cooks than some professors. They both have their jobs for a reason and are worthy of respect.
18 Mar 2021
6: Thou shalt not beer-shame. Beer is sudsy and delicious.
Please have one with me. I don't care if you like Newcastle, or Bud Light Platinum. I do care that you're having one with me, and dammit, I appreciate your company.
18 Mar 2021
5: Mayonnaise on a sandwich is cheating.
Of course it's delicious. It's fat, protein, and salt. But if your sandwich is delicious without it, then you have put together a sandwich that is actually good.
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18 Mar 2021
4A: If your job is to protect Ted Cruz (maybe your name rhymes with Fucker Tarlson), then you have lost.
You are small, and polite society is now indifferent to your other opinions.
You did this to yourself.
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18 Mar 2021
4: If you find yourself on any medium whatsoever defending or cheering for Ted Cruz, then you have lost at life.
I do not care how much they paid you, loser.
Chris Trout retweeted
17 Mar 2021
We're going to follow everyone back who retweets this tweet and follows us.
That includes you, [your name]. kvml.org
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