1/ Hi there! I'm The 90s Guy. People say I'm stuck in the past and maybe they're right. But, what's better than a Friday night in 1996? Cruising to the Blockbuster, windows down, smoking Newports, with Pantera blasting on the cassette deck...maybe grab some Zimas and Jolly Ranchers on the way home. No staring at a phone with a crooked neck for hours on end. No endless notifications stealing your peace. No doom scrolling through everyone's filtered highlight reels. Just a simpler life where you could get arrested and not have the bodycam video plastered all over YouTube. I make jokes cast from my 90s time capsule, trying to lighten up these dark 2026 days. So, give me a follow and let's have some laughs together. Or don't. It's fine. Seriously.

Doomscrolling for six hours then wondering why you’re miserable. 90s we flipped three channels of nothing and still went outside.

Someone came up with the brilliant idea to add whey protein to regular soda and act like it's a healthy "wellness" beverage. Just give me a burger and a Coke.

Little Known Facts of the 90s OK Soda Coca-Cola tried to bottle Gen-X cynicism in 1993 with OK Soda. The dark, comic-book cans carried ironic slogans like “What’s OK?” and the ads basically shrugged at you. It was marketed as the drink for jaded 90s kids who didn’t trust anything. The brown soda tasted perfectly average and the ultra-edgy attitude completely missed. OK Soda was yanked from test markets by 1995, becoming one of the shortest and strangest experiments in soda history.

Dudes out here with a whole 12-step skincare routine... exfoliating creams...beard oils... We used Irish Spring and called it good.

Posers of the 90s: Elizabeth Berkley Saved by the Bell’s straight-A feminist Jessie Spano went full pole-dancing disaster in Showgirls (1995) and thought it was her Oscar ticket. Deep vault: She bet the farm on Paul Verhoeven’s NC-17 trainwreck to make her the next Sharon Stone. Critics torched her “performance” so hard Hollywood blacklisted her for years. One minute she’s lecturing kids about drugs on primetime, the next she’s humping a pole in the worst movie of the decade. Classic 90s poser move — ditching the good-girl script for “serious adult actress” overnight and face-planting spectacularly.

On This Day in the 90s On April 14, 1999, a violent hailstorm slammed into Sydney, Australia, with hailstones the size of tennis balls raining down across the city. The freak storm shattered windows, dented thousands of cars, and wrecked roofs, causing more than A$1.7 billion in damage and becoming the most expensive natural disaster in Australian history at the time.

Little Known 90s Facts Orbitz In 1996 a drink called Orbitz showed up in stores looking like a lava lamp you could sip. The clear soda was loaded with colorful floating gelatin balls that bobbed around like tiny eyeballs in a science experiment. Makers called the chewy bits “texturally enhanced.” Most people just called them weird. Sales never took off. Kids either loved poking the balls or hated the strange mouthfeel, and pretty much everyone else stayed away. Within a year Orbitz vanished from shelves, leaving behind one of the most visually baffling beverage flops of the decade.

Back in the 90s, my Discman skipped constantly if I walked too fast. I still carried it everywhere anyway. Portable music today never skips and somehow feels less satisfying.

On This Day in the 90s On April 11, 1990, British customs officers in Middlesbrough seized what they believed to be the barrel of a massive "Supergun" on a ship bound for Iraq. The 40-yard-long steel tube was part of Saddam Hussein's secret Project Babylon, an audacious plan to build the world's largest artillery weapon capable of launching chemical or nuclear shells hundreds of miles. It was the second suspicious shipment intercepted in weeks, disguised as petrochemical equipment, and it sparked an international scandal just months before the Gulf War.

Little Known 90s Facts Right at the end of the decade, RadioShack gave away millions of CueCats...little plastic barcode scanners shaped like cats. Scan a code printed in a magazine and it was supposed to magically open the related website on your computer. The future of print media, they said. The gadget felt awkward and almost no one actually used it. Radio Shack went bankrupt fast, turning the CueCat into a perfect symbol of late-90s tech ideas nobody asked for.

Posers of the 90s: Tori Spelling Tori Spelling was Beverly Hills 90210’s relatable rich girl Donna while being the ultimate nepo baby. Her dad Aaron Spelling produced the show and basically handed her the role plus a 56,000-square-foot mansion. Deep vault: She lived like royalty while her character stressed about normal teen problems on primetime TV. The “poor little rich girl” act was comedy gold...90s TV’s biggest walking billboard for “my daddy bought me fame.” Nepo babies are everywhere now, though, so...

On This Day in the 90s On April 6, 1994, NFL quarterback Jim Everett flipped a table and shoved host Jim Rome during a live interview on ESPN2’s “Talk2.” Rome had spent weeks calling Everett “Chris” on air — a jab comparing him to tennis star Chris Evert after a playoff meltdown. When Rome said it to his face, Everett stood up, overturned the table, and pushed Rome backward in one of the most unscripted, jaw-dropping moments in sports television history. A 90s version of FAFO...

On This Day in the 90s On April 4, 1991, four armed robbers took 41 hostages inside a Good Guys electronics store in Sacramento, California, in one of the most chaotic live-television standoffs of the decade. The gunmen, heavily armed and demanding a getaway car and money, held police and SWAT at bay for hours while the drama unfolded on local news cameras. The siege ended in a bloody shootout that left six people dead, including three hostages, and became a grim reminder of how quickly a routine robbery could spiral into a public spectacle.

Little Known 90s Facts Nintendo Virtual Boy Nintendo’s Virtual Boy hit shelves in 1995 as the company’s bold first stab at virtual reality gaming. The bright red headset perched on a stand and delivered blocky 3D graphics in nothing but glowing shades of red—like playing inside an old calculator. Games such as Mario’s Tennis and a boxing title promised total immersion, but most players just got a blurry, monochromatic headache. It became one of Nintendo’s rare hardware disasters. The system caused eye strain, motion sickness, and was so uncomfortable that sales cratered fast. Nintendo quietly killed it within a year, leaving the Virtual Boy as a gloriously weird footnote in gaming history—proof that even the Mario crew can whiff when they rush the future.

I don’t know… but if you need 300 pages to introduce yourself to yourself, maybe just say hi next time you pass a mirror.

On This Day in the 90s On March 31, 1991, former child star Danny Bonaduce was arrested in Phoenix after attacking and robbing a transvestite prostitute. The Partridge Family alum, then in his early 20s, faced charges of robbery, assault, and fleeing from police following the late-night incident. It added another strange chapter to his post-child-star life, which had already included public struggles with addiction and personal chaos.

Posers of the 90s: Gavin Rossdale Gavin Rossdale rolled up from London looking like a brooding British model who got lost on his way to a Seattle grunge audition. Bush dropped Sixteen Stone in ’94 and suddenly had America convinced they were the next Nirvana. Deep vault: These dudes were straight-up English posers cashing in on the dying grunge scene...long hair, flannel shirts, tortured lyrics, the whole costume. Critics roasted them as the fakest band of the decade, calling Bush “Nirvana for people who didn’t get Nirvana.” Pretty boy Gavin was more interested in dating supermodels and future wife Gwen Stefani than actually living the angst he was singing about. “Everything Zen”? More like everything calculated. While real grunge bands were falling apart or checking out, Gavin was busy turning post-grunge into a glossy, radio-friendly product. The 90s were full of bandwagon jumpers, but Bush took it to international levels. Classic poser move...faking the Seattle sound from across the Atlantic. The flannel didn’t fool anyone for long.

I need to get the hell out of Japan.

Saw there is now a monthly subscription for toothpaste. The company sends you a new tube every month whether you need it or not. This is apparently a needed convenience today.

On This Day in the 90s On March 28, 1998, Paul Simon’s Broadway musical The Capeman closed after only 68 performances at the Marquis Theatre. The ambitious production, based on a real 1959 New York gang murder and starring Marc Anthony and Ruben Blades, struggled with mixed reviews and low ticket sales despite Simon’s legendary songwriting reputation. It became one of the decade’s more notable Broadway flops. Art Garfunkel was rumored to be delighted by the failure.