Usually, when you don't care about sports, you get to just keep scrolling when someone brings it to your tl. When it becomes an international tournament affair, you get to laugh at all the people sperging about your country when you win and resume not caring when you lose.

Every couple of weeks I'll go through a drive-thru listening to Oneyplays and forget to pause it, causing the person working the window to hear one of them blurt out the dumbest shit possible and I just have to act natural.

Infiltrating a furry convention with a Zoo Pals strapped to my face

Maury should've jumped the shark and had two gay dads on.

If Pokemon were real, I'd be using Dittos for all kinds of nefarious acts: fabricating fake sex tapes to use against political opponents, inciting race riots, gangstalking, flooding the line at the DMV.

You can drive a near straight line from Palestine to Athens to Paris in about 2.5 hours

I think the key to mental health and stability in the modern age is to wake up, immediately blind yourself with a bright phone, and the first thing you see is a rejected job application email.

Tracking my Norwood progression to fractional precision, but I fear at some point I'm just splitting hairs.

It's the For You page bro this was made specifically for me

3 kings, paramecium. Full House.

Flecktarn Apron

I hate this website

Illegal pit bull modifications. Baby mauler bioweapon bump stock.

Immaculate responsiveness