Joined March 2019
- Tweets 1,381
- Following 176
- Followers 18,505
- Likes 4,174
318 Photos and videos
if you ever feel safe remember that the dumbest person you knew in nursing school is a CRNA now
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if they just put protein in the covid vaccine we’d have flying cars by now
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if they would’ve given me adderall in sixth grade i would be a CRNA by now
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honestly couldn’t be a better time to get thrown off a cliff without a bungee cord
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yeah i’m a “creator”, of sentinel events from a lack of sleep and the 3 monsters in my bloodstream
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the dumbest nurse on the unit at their daisy award ceremony with the hospital CEO
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if you’re good enough at your job, you can call the patients names to their face
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Jun 12
elon musk just became a trillionaire. a nurse making $45 an hour would only take 5,935,423 years to make a trillion dollars (not paying any taxes).
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it’s crazy to think that i got coughed on more when everyone was wearing masks because they would take them off to talk to me
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May 26
hang on, gotta agree to the terms and conditions on the defibrillator before i can charge it
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May 26
I’ll admit, when I was in nursing school in 2009 I definitely thought Dr. Oz would have less direct involvement in destroying Medicare and Medicaid
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May 25
hospital security watching the NBA playoffs while i get my ass beat by my psych patient
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May 25
It’s 2027, my ai pharmacist just added the UnitedHealth forever chemical microplastics in the Trump IV fluid my patient paid $15k for the cancer from the data center next to their house that doubled their electric bill so they could use ai to get an appointment for the oncologist
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May 23
if we’re ever doing medication calculations in our heads just know i’m pretending and it’s all on you to keep the patient alive
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May 10
First they came for my Tylenol and I did not speak out
Because I was already autistic
Then they came for my Zoloft and I did not speak out
Because I couldn’t afford the deductible anyway
But then they came for my Taco Bell - and there were no poor autistic people left to speak for me
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May 10
Conservatives: “mental illness is to blame for mass shootings”
Conservatives: *bans SSRI’s*
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May 10
honestly couldn’t be a better time to get sucked into a jet engine
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