suck my Big Stupid Ass
Joined April 2021
- Tweets 2,717
- Following 686
- Followers 20,107
- Likes 31,059
223 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
3 Aug 2022
alien: these are your ancestors?? lmfaooo ššš
[shows me a video of a monkey jumpin around goin ooh ooh ah ah]
me: [getting really defensive] that was a long time ago. turn that off
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Jun 12
i swear to god if i see one more incel post about how women hate men or another post about how shitty men are iām going to lose my mind. do you people not know anyone that is nice. are you all insane. why is my tl full of this bullshit
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Jun 11
itās spelled ādonātā.. thereās an apostrophe. ever heard of a frickin book? itās called working out youre are brain. maybe you should try it dumbass
Jun 10
damn. A LOT of people actually really dont workout. no gym. nothing.
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Jun 8
i just found out if you bring a gun into mcdonaldās they will make you pretty much anything
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cory retweeted
19 Jan 2023
Arnold Palmer: get me a refreshing drink
Bartender: try this, its lemonade and iced tea
Palmer: Mm..its good..I just invented it
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Jun 1
horror movie lovers be like i love that movie it made me feel fucking awful and horrible and really scared
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May 30
i love being like alright i need to get some toothpaste, let me go to the grocery store. then i come home with no toothpaste and some fucking bananas for some reason
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May 30
i donāt even like bananas iām just like a healthy guy would buy bananas
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May 30
iāve decided iām gonna take all of my relationship advice from bitter people on the internet
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May 30
boss: you broke company rules. youāre fired
me: [opening my own rulebook] actually it says right here that you canāt fire me
boss: you canāt just make up your own rulebook
me: [flipping through pages] it says i can right here
boss: [under breath] fuck
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cory retweeted
3 Sep 2022
[watching E.T. for the first time and i see the little alien] what the FUCK. turn it off
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May 27
dentist after examining my teeth: [frowning] i donāt like this [taking his tools out of my mouth] i donāt like teeth anymore
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May 22
imagine being friends with one of the guys that walked on the moon lol. pointing up at it and being like yeah my boy actually went up there heās fucking crazy lol
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May 21
iām in the top 1% of yearners. iām an elite yearner im different like that
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May 19
crazy that one of the only humans to ever walk on the moon was named buzz. imagine meeting him. like yeah ok buzz. yeah no i believe you. you definitely went to the moon shut the fuck up you idiot
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May 13
not possible penisses do not even reach 3 inches in the first place maximum size is like 2.5 i think or something
May 12
Scientists confirm that hantavirus can shrink your penis size by up to three inches.
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May 13
if iām ever 80 years old im straight up doing heroin like what the fuck do i have to lose and it probably is awesome
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May 12
āany tips?ā yeah bro just off the top of my head maybe get a picture in there that doesnāt look like you are going to kill me
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May 8
mechanic: youāre gonna need new tires
me: fuck. i donāt think i can invent a new kind of tire i donāt really know much about them. is there someone i can get in contact with maybe some kind of tire scientist
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May 8
how do i download the new owl update
A never-before-seen owl has been found in the USA.
While snowy owls are known for their white feathers, this owl, nicknamed "Rusty" by locals, has an unexplained reddish-orange appearance.
Community note
This sighting (actually from 2025) does not correspond to a new type of natural coloration, but is likely to be the result of environmental contamination like a plane de-icing liquid spill, a common incident that causes abnormal coloration sightings on birds.
eeb.msu.edu/news/orange-alā¦
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