He/ him. Aspiring playwright. Spiraling existentialist.
Joined September 2015
- Tweets 1,289
- Following 588
- Followers 127
- Likes 7,129
66 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
10 Feb 2018
I wonder if anyone’s ever had a seance in the Ben and Jerry’s flavor graveyard
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28 May 2023
Ok hear me out: a golf themed gay bar called the Putt Hole
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24 May 2023
If there are multiple queer people living in the same building we WILL find each other and we WILL talk about silly names for cats
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16 May 2023
14 May 2023
How do you serve cunt in a way supports public transportation?
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14 May 2023
I’ve been shitting on Mamma Mia for years only to watch it for the first time and discover I’m a Big Time Dummy with no taste because wow what a film
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12 May 2023
I don’t know if this will make sense to anyone but the only thing scarier than a gym full of straight men is a gym full of gay men
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6 May 2023
It is far too early for someone to be ripping this much ass on the Dartmouth coach bus
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28 Apr 2023
Eating a little cheese here and there is like a booster shot to prevent lactose intolerance or something. I don’t know, I’m not a doctor. I’m just a big cheese guy
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21 Apr 2023
Joke’s on you, homophobic book bans! I have terrible reading comprehension skills!
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corn_maestro retweeted
8 Apr 2023
To Wong Foo, Thank For Everything, Julie Newmar (1995)
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9 Apr 2023
Seeing Sweeney Todd on Broadway the same day as the 10th anniversary of Margaret Thatcher’s death feels so universally correct. What a way to celebrate!
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7 Apr 2023
Only 24 hours until I enter a feral berserker rage watching @joshgroban gut people like fish in @SweeneyToddBway
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30 Mar 2023
Been back from Europe for a week and I’m still rattled by the fact that public bathrooms in Ireland aren’t free???? Visiting the homeland was wonderful but I simply don’t have time for their silly little piss tokens!
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26 Mar 2023
SWING YOUR RAZOR WIDE 🩸🩸🩸
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23 Mar 2023
The T conductor on my train was roasting the planned parenthood protesters as we rode by. It’s good to be home!
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18 Mar 2023
Apparently Irish people love Van Morrison?? I fuck so hard with my countrymen
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