I’ll make you laugh or you’ll make me cry. Either way, there’s gonna be some sounds. #guarantee

Joined March 2009
89 Photos and videos
Jaclyn Porpiglia retweeted
The DOJ is once again purposefully muddying the waters on who was a predator and who was mentioned in an email. To have Janis Joplin, who died when Epstein was 17, in the same list as Larry Nassar, who went to prison for the sexual abuse of hundreds of young women and child pornography, with no clarification of how either was mentioned in the files is absurd. Release the full files. Stop protecting predators. Redact only the survivor's names.
SCOOP: The Department of Justice has sent over a letter to Congress outlining why it made redactions to the Epstein files. The six-page letter also includes a list of all "government officials and politically exposed persons" in the files.
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Jaclyn Porpiglia retweeted
I am not suicidal. I eat healthy food. The brakes on my car and truck are in good shape. I practice good trigger discipline and never point a gun at anyone, including myself. There are no deep pools of water on my farm and I’m a pretty good swimmer.
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This is a basic service and a basic request. Client should not have to jump through hoops for standard webhosting.
@SiteGround my client’s standard website went down last week. We upgraded the hosting package to WAY more than we need. Now the site is down again. The site owner is offline for holiday and the operations team was told NO one on siteground could reinstate the site.
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Jaclyn Porpiglia retweeted
Actually this is more serious. The 14th Amendment only allows citizenship revocation for naturalized citizens who committed fraud during naturalization. Trump floating this for natural-born citizens means he's testing whether SCOTUS will let him rewrite birthright citizenship retroactively. Rosie's the trial balloon. If no one pushes back hard enough, next week it's protesters. Then journalists. The framework he's building here bypasses Congress entirely through emergency declaration powers. Watch who stays silent on this.
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Cleaning out the dryer lint while my husband lives his best @barstoolsports life. Go,Golf!
Thomas Porpiglia is just a tenth away from achieving HARD CAP status. He is my sneaky pick to have a major bounce-back round today. Let’s tee off!
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Never ever ever use @Apple Pay to rent a car 😫😫
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This didn’t age well.
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Who is selling coffee at @WWWYFest desperate to know #wwwyf
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Hi @VirginVoyages my friends recruited a group of us to take WCC. They woke up today to see their elderly dog has taken a turn for the worse and they’re missing the trip to spend her last moments on earth with her. They could use a pick me up. Can you offer them anything? TIA 🙏
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Flying alone w. Kids @SRQAirport my kids were given: - wings! - @starbucks stickers - coloring & puzzle from @United I checked a bag, car seat, received a seat change at the gate so my 3yo didn’t have to sit alone 😳 and boarded early (kids<4) Best travel experience ever
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Jaclyn Porpiglia retweeted
“A lot of people don’t get to see how loved they are while they're alive, so for him to have a situation where he could have been taken away and he has a chance to come back and see all that love that he got.” Our @nflnetwork interview with Damar Hamlin’s uncle, Dorrian Glenn:
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Jaclyn Porpiglia retweeted
Damar Hamlin is a truly wonderful and special person. He’s made an enormous impact on his community, long before he made the NFL — as you’ll see in the video below. Please pray for Damar and his family. 🙏
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My @Spotify says pop but my heart says EMOtional 😭 Was this supposed to make us cry? #SpotifyWrapped
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Okay @Spotify I will officially do anything for you, no questions asked #WrappedSpotify #SpotifyWrapped
Spotify wrote the rest of this message but I love you 🥺 Thanks @mileycyrus for spending 385 minutes with me in 2022. I couldn’t stop listening to You - Live. #SpotifyWrapped open.spotify.com/artist/5YGY…

Hey @JeffBezos one of your Drivers saved lives in Blauvelt NY last night. #Amazon
I woke up on the day of my live sketch show with a UTI. I now understand why it’s been so hard for women to make it in comedy. Women. Non-binary folks. Jokes. And cranberry juice, obviously. 530 PM at @thepitnyc with @GoldComedy
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Scooch over @netflix, @blockbuster is back. And hotter than ever 🔥 @GoldComedy youtu.be/kW848hjsgQU
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Shout out to the dad wearing the playboy hat at the Kids Bop concert last night
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