>be me >bottomless pit supervisor >in charge of making sure the bottomless pit is, in fact, bottomless >occasionally have to go down there and check if the bottomless pit is still bottomless >one day i go down there and the bottomless pit is no longer bottomless >the bottom of the bottomless pit is now just a regular pit >distress.jpg >ask my boss what to do >he says "just make it bottomless again" >i say "how" >he says "i don't know, you're the supervisor" >rage.jpg >quit my job >become a regular pit supervisor >first day on the job, go to the new hole >its bottomless

I used to get confused why my mum would sit down and watch the evening news when it was all just "Family of 6 Dies In Car Crash, Up Next: Evil Pedo Hunts Down and Murders Child" but now I scroll X and it's literally the same thing

Firstly, it was in fact the right bush Secondly, it was more of a woof than a bark

If ever someone walks past me on the footpath I make it a point to speed up and overtake them I will not be pacemogged

In Japan if you commit a crime bad enough they cremate you and turn you into 300¥ gacha toys

My Chinese manufacturer dropping gems

Real ones understand the nootropic benefits of 10am ciders

Graduating college in 2026 is a humiliation ritual

Narcissism is just believing in yourself

computer make me happy. computer initiate serotonin sequencing. computer tell me im doing a good job. computer inject me with whatever drugs necessary to make me smile. computer i learned too much put me back on retarded mode

Male “photographer”: my artistic vision is skinny women in tiny thin white shirts with no bra

Studies show that if you start your day by checking cryptocurrency prices at 9am, statistically, your day cant get any worse

Just heard from a highly trusted source that they’re putting gene editing nanobots in the Kool Aid Pineapples

Me at my second rodeo: ohhhh

Currently up to day 9,679 of the Not Blowing My Shit Smooth Off challenge

Trying out some new material on the clanker first

Now this is something I can get around

パラオ🇵🇼に行ってきた感想。良いことも気になったことも、正直に ・日本から直行便あり（約4時間） ・超親日。日本語の看板が今も残ってる ・夜歩いても全く怖くない ・海の透明度が文字通り異次元 ・世界中のダイバーが集まる聖地 ・クラゲと一緒に泳げる湖がある ・街中どこでも英語が通じる ・物価は高め。日本とほぼ同じ水準 ・スーパーの品揃えは少ない ・移動手段はレンタカーが必須 ・「また来たい」と強く思った