@devonbl profile picture
đź–¤devonđź–¤ @devonbl
Joined May 2009
  • Tweets 8,405
  • Following 194
  • Followers 14,845
852 Photos and videos
sorry i’ve been afk for a few years, i was in a coma. jk my life was falling apart and i lost access to my account. anyway? how you been?
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Im not gonna cry today.
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Yesterday someone knocked on my office door and I answered “cowabunga” and I have no idea what’s going on anymore
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False pockets on a dress are an offense by the patriarchy. I am the victim of a crime
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Just in case you’re looking, my org at Apple is hiring SREs, engineering managers, infrastructure managers, a system’s reliability tech lead, a cloud SRE manager, build engineers and much more. These aren’t full time remote roles, but im happy to provide more info in dms
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sorry i disappeared from twitter for a while, i was busy working really hard, sweating a lot, crying a little and getting promoted 🖤 i hope you had a great summer 🫶🏼
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Im spending next week at a retreat in the desert so I did my nails last weekend to go with the theme & coincidentally these 🔥 shoes arrived in the mail last night which also match
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What if instead of turtles, it was just mediocre white men thinking they know more than they do all the way down
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me: I can't believe these people are squatting on a whole /32 coworker: devon, thats a single ipv4 me: exactly. like what year is it.
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đź–¤devonđź–¤ retweeted
(((Nicole Aimée Schreiber)))@nicoleaimee
19 Jun 2022
Me: Did you feel so powerful shooting a gun? @devonbl: Not at all. But I once told an over paid man he was under performing and that was *chefs kiss*
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How do you say “no you’re wrong and what you’re spewing is totally lies” but like professionally?
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for my former self*, let’s push all the junk to production that we’ve been sitting on the last week and see if we can cause some mayhem *my former punk rock teen self would call me a sell out, key my car and steal my shoes
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Redid my nails so I had to buy some new shoes to match.
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RT @rmondello: I keep getting questions about “the potato”. It’s a wood carving of a heart. I do love potatoes, however.🥔💚 t.co/skR…
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I know a lot of people more willing to permanently share their location than send read receipts and honestly I agree.
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Let’s go wwdc friends! Today is gonna be awesome! Also these nails took me almost five hours to do so please tell me they’re cute.
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Im bored by the pool in Bahamas so I just asked my husband to mansplain kernel level cpu affinity to me
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I take a couple advil, as a treat
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_texting my boss this morning_ Me: what are you wearing today? I wanna make sure we don’t wear the same thing Him: ??? Me: don’t say I didn’t warn you _shows up to work dressed like cotton candy_
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Im going to the Bahamas this week so I spent 4 and 10 coats of polish to create these beachy nails then matched my outfit today for an empty office & no one to notice.
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