Dead profile. Finally made Bluesky click, let's be friends over there
Joined May 2008
- Tweets 19,994
- Following 1,589
- Followers 6,253
- Likes 5,689
1,054 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
12 Nov 2024
Alright you hot hot eggs, I'm off on Bluesky posting to no-one and feeling absolutely fine about it. Although you could do your bit and make me feel like less of a no-mates loser
bsky.app/profile/disappointm…
Love you. And you. Not you. OK YOU
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7 Dec 2025
Watching Kelly's shoes again, I noticed Sex Robot from Whitest Kids U Know by the pool. But Shoes is 2006, and WKUK is 2007? He was a jobbing robot actor in the mid-aughts I guess
7 Dec 2025
what’d you expect? condams?
youtu.be/wCF3ywukQYA?si=3w5U…
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Log retweeted
1 Mar 2011
What a different show Cheers would've been if Sam and Diane's growing romance had been replaced with cutaways to a still image of a seahorse
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27 Oct 2024
Lads I just pissed for so long, directly into the water, that the guy in the next cubicle said “fuckin hell”
Still got it
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27 Oct 2024
Yeah I piss in a cubicle with my hands against the wall, always have, always will
Unless I’m sitting down and having a sleep shit
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27 Oct 2024
Didn’t post this on Blusky cos I’m trying to be cool over there
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18 Oct 2024
Just remembered that glorious period in history before LOL stopped meaning lots of love, and if you were lucky, truly blessed, you’d get a text from your gran saying “sorry you failed all your exams LOL”
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16 Oct 2024
Thanks to a clerical error leading to a mispayment of royalties for the book "Return To The Baltic", I now owe 11p to the estate of Hilaire Belloc. Suck it Bellocs I already spent it on wigs
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16 Oct 2024
When you get a letter from a long-forgotten agent titled “The Estate of Hilaire Belloc” you tend to assume you’ve slandered him on an edgy html page you uploaded to Pipex in the 90s
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6 Oct 2024
I accuse you all, when there are two categories remaining on Connections, of solving the easier one then selecting the other ones so it looks like you solved the hard one
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25 Sep 2024
Did Jasper Carrott actually collect funny car insurance claims, or did he make them all up? It's finally started bothering me
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25 Sep 2024
"One for Jasper Carrott!" chuckles the car insurer, denying the claim for lack of narrative clarity
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23 Sep 2024
Soon I will once again be taking wet Henry to the sycamore helicopters on the astroturf
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15 Sep 2024
The dignified Westie engulfed by Pomeranian chaos
ALT A west highland terrier sat thoughtfully on a bench while four Pomeranians around him act the twat. One is on its back, paws in the air. One is barking at me taking the photo. Another is begging for treats from his owner while the last, perhaps the only one with a shred of self awareness, stares away from them all, hoping against hope that their actions don’t reflect badly on him. Soz mate they really do
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11 Sep 2024
There’s a new Greggs opening near us today. We’ve decided we’ll go tomorrow when the dust has settled and everyone’s calmed down
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8 Sep 2024
Whoa my bf has received an invitation to register for the private ballot to receive a code to join the queue for a chance to buy a ticket for the additional dates for the band that are “committed to the rock and roll dream” (BBC Radio, all stations)
Yeah we’re kind of a big deal
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