512 Photos and videos
slick retweeted
13 Jul 2022
Ah man I'd love to come to your barbecue but I'm not hungry that weekend
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slick retweeted
26 Sep 2025
cops are always like "can you tell me why you were going 90 in a 55?" and you have to explain to them that it literally gets you there way faster. just goes to show the guys who fail at math end up as cops.
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slick retweeted
28 Sep 2024
if i ever found out a mouse lived in my home, and he had a small archway in the wall, and he lived in there with small, real furniture, and he ventured out nightly to get one olive or a small wedge of cheese. i would stop at nothing to end his life. i would spare no expense
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slick retweeted
10 Mar 2024
Gigantic 2 mile long sandworm traversing vast stretch of desert: oh my god is that 4 dudes. This is just the satisfying meal I need for my big body
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slick retweeted
8 Aug 2022
me to my 4 year old son: i just got off the phone with santa and he is so angry about what you did that i am genuinely afraid for your life. we need to put you in hiding because at this point i think he would even kill me to get to you.
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slick retweeted
18 Mar 2014
wanna see something cool, kid? *opens desk drawer revealing a tiny, bustling city* oops wrong drawer *opens other drawer and there's a gun*
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slick retweeted
21 Oct 2020
Homeless guy: Caleb Pitts you will die on August 5th 2023 when a stray bullet flies through your bedroom window and into your neck.
Me [headphones in]: sorry brotha nothin on me
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that is a great looking landing. Can see why you shared it
3 Apr 2023
Former President Donald Trump has arrived at New York's LaGuardia Airport ahead of Tuesday's arraignment. Follow live updates. cnn.it/3zM3uh7
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slick retweeted
13 Jan 2020
They said they Wanna see the toys 🤥😹 OK then 💯🙈🙉
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