alt @autisticfyolai i like nikolai i like fyodor i like ranpo i like akutagawa i tolerate dazai i dont like shed/proshiptwt i liek @terumikamiyaoi bnnr emil
this year ive been trying to upgrade my skills more trying to work with different light/color contrasts but all the art with less heavy contrast feel ugly to me and im never satisfied with them. bc the low contrast hurts my eyes and i see them less clearly 💔💔💔
left: harsh lightning bright colours yay!!!
right: evil natural lightning ow ow ow
this why my screens always on full brightness in a dark room when drawing. its really obvious here too compared to the backgrounf sealen even had to edit my part to make him less bright 😭😭
this idea came to mind bc of the fact that people in my life that have known me for years especially close friends still make fun of or get mad at me for symptoms of autism that i can’t control and there’s genuinely only one person in my life i can completely unmask around 💀
i tell them i cant tell that they’re upset bc i can’t pick up on subtle changes in behaviour and connect it to emotions (most common autism stuff EVER) and i get met with “erm? you took theatre classes you should know this by now?” thats not how a mental disability WORKS!!!
so in my beautiful autism world i can project everything onto fyodor and nikolai and they dont have to mask and can be happy and have beautiful autism love and not get mocked 💝💝💝💝💝💝💝